Insecticide

hello comrades! i am delighted to see there have been two more of you added to my fray this week (although apparently one of them got arrested last night and is planning on pleading guilty and expects to get 5 - 10 so im not sure if he will be around anymore. but i hope he is because i liked him but whatever), so let me just say WELCOME! BIENVENUE! and that is the end of my cheerfulness today because i have two rants that are totally unrelated except for the fact that they are equally vexing to me.

first of all, a client of mine who shall remain nameless keeps contracting head lice and its driving me crazy. i am 95% sure this is because some certain nameless relatives of my client's have not done an adequate job of clearing up head lice in their OWN children and so these children keep passing it back to my client and my client's mother and MYSELF are stuck dealing with it. this has been an ongoing issue since last july and im fucking sick of it. especially because when i delivered this nameless individual home yesterday the head lice situation was definitely clear. i go to pick this person up today and the mother tells me they were visiting the aforementioned relatives and one of the aforementioned children was actually in my clients home while i was picking my client up and i thought well isnt that interesting, i bet this individual has lice again when i know this person didnt yesterday!!!! and guess what???? im right!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!! so now, once i get done here, i will have to take this person back to my home and spend anywhere from half an hour to an hour picking headlice. again. grrrrrrrr.

anyway the other rant is that im really pissed about this whole situation with our prime minister. for my possible non-canadian readers (or for my canadian readers who have been living under a rock for the last two weeks) here is a brief recap: our parliament had a vote of non-confidence in the government and it passed. our prime minister was also found to be in contempt of parliament. so parliament got dissolved and we are having an election. for the most part, this is good news but here comes the irritating part. according to our election rules, being found in contempt of parliament is not only in breach of the law, but it is one of the few instances where someone is not allowed to run for office again if they are found to be in this position. apparently, stephen harper, our robotic and enigmatic prime minister DOESNT CARE what the law says and is running anyway. the only explanation the house of commons has been able to give as to why this man isnt a) being arrested for his CRIME of being in contempt of parliament and b) being forced out of office with prejudice is that "this has never happened before and we dont know what to do." what. the. fuck. we dont know what to do? um, how bout arrest him? how about tell him he is not legally able to be the leader of his part? how about telling the conservatives to elect a new leader? i think that the house is just hoping he will step down voluntarily so they wont have to take measure against him, which is what most canadians would do because that is the kind of people we are. "i made a mistake. i will gracefully disappear to let someone else rectify it" is what canadians are all about. but stephen harper isnt. thats why hes not right for the job in the first place. he doesnt embody who we are as a nation, i dont think he even really cares. and i cant believe that the RCMP isnt at 24 sussex with a pair of cuffs for him, not to mention the fact that i cant believe that parliament hill isnt being swarmed with protesters. its so maddening.

if our lawmakers dont obey the law, what incentive is there for us to do so? its not as if hes disobeying the law in some act of civil disobedience (which is kind of different). hes just doing whateverthefuck he wants. just like he always does. and that my friends, is fascism. and that is where all of the great troubles of the world started. and its starting right here, right now, and as is so often the sad case, it is being met with just enough apathy that he is going to get away with it. Lord Have Mercy.

Meet the Oppressor

hello and happy wednesday, comrades. i have been meaning to write this post for a while, but as usual, i kept forgetting. lucky for you lucksters, i remembered today, so here we go. as is basically public knowledge by now, you should all be aware of the fact that i despise clothing and avoid wearing it at all costs. obviously, being a resident of canada puts a fairly large obstacle called "winter" in the way of year round nudity, but i remain naked in spirit. without getting into a whole discussion of the where and whyfore of nakedness, i will say briefly that i just find clothes oppressive, and none so much as these:

having grown up in a small town playing outside and being raised by rather hippy-ish parentals, i spent most of my formative years barefoot. when absolutely necessary, i am told i wore rubber boots but still decided to forgo the socks. this has left an indelible mark on me; a mark of sock hatred. even sitting here, writing this, i am thinking about how damp my feet are and how inadequately my socks are absorbing my sweat. i am thinking about how i would rather be barefoot or at least in sandals instead of having my poor toes trapped in their coffin-like shoes, shrouded in poly-cotton blends like sad lonely mummies.

as if WEARING socks isnt bad enough, i also spend most of every morning searching for socks that are going to be sufficient for my purposes. it seems like no matter how often i do laundry and no matter how many pairs of socks i purchase, there are never enough to get through the week. in this sick and passive aggressive way, socks oppress me, day in and day out.

i admit this is partially a problem of my own invention. my ever increasing triathlon training is forcing me through multiple pairs of socks in a day just for comfort and to avoid athletes foot. also i am admittedly guilty of what i like to call "secret spite" (although i suppose after i finish writing this, it will be a secret no longer). secret spite is basically where i act really immature and do things that i know my mother would hate JUST BECAUSE I CAN. this includes but is not limited to: not moving furniture when i sweep the floor, not separating my laundry, leaving my laundry in a pile (i dont even own a hamper), letting the dishes pile up, and my personal favourite: just throwing my unsorted, unpaired socks into a drawer and then fishing around for matching pairs as needed. it would seem that my secret spite is really only spiting myself but i am juvenile enough to get my own particular brand of twisted satisfaction out of it.

ADDENDUM: my google image search for "evil socks" came up with the following image.

Like Paula Abdul

so i have decided to run in THIS for my first race, and i am super excited. HERE is the link for the specific one i shall be running in barrie, not far from my parentals' place. there are many reasons i am excited about this, the least of which is not the fact that i will receive a viking warrior helmet simply for participating. also, i am going to design an excellent costume to wear. i cant decide if i want to do a viking style costume or a pocahontas style costume, but its gonna be AWESOME!!!!!! i am also excited because my cousin might join me and i hope that she does. once i am done running in this race, i will officially be a warrior, just like paula abdul: (skip ahead to about minute 3 of this video and you will understand what im talking about).

If Tim Burton Was Dead, He Would Be Spinning in His Grave

so i just finished watching disney on ice for the second, that's right, second time in two days. sadly, i am forced to tolerate this travesty every march break because i get sent with clients to see it but i have never had to go twice before. this year was painful as always, but before i get into my list of grievances, allow me to offer the slight disclaimer that i am not a big fan of figure skating and i really dont respect "ice dancing." i admire the talent, discipline and athleticism required to become a world class figure skater, but i just dont really get much out of watching it. i suppose its partly to do with my loyalty to my sister, who is a ballet dancer.... there is somewhat of a rivalry between ballet and figure skating and i cant help where my filial allegiances lie. its the same with liking rugby but not soccer, or as i can only assume my siblings would say, batman and not superman. but lets get to it.

1) generally, the cast of disney on ice are not the highest caliber of figure skaters. most of them look lethargic and winded and the choreography involves alot of clapping and waving in lieu of actual skating. this makes the already painful spectacle even more eye-abrasive.

2) i spent most of the chaotic group sequences imagining how funny it would be if half the cast lost control and they all totally crashed into each other.

3) donald and daisy duck do not wear pants, but the rest of the characters do. i can only assume it is because they have a very spontaneous sex life and are huge exhibitionists.

4) i cannot stand the sound of mickey or minnie's voice.

5) i also spent much of my time imagining i was watching something i actually like, like speed skating or ballet or paint drying. this was a fun distraction while it lasted that quickly dissolved into the sinking realisation that i was trapped in an arena listening to dance remixes of disney love songs, which brings me to

6) someone had the misguided notion that disney love songs would be more modern and interesting if they were played with up tempo dance/pop beats. they were not.

7) i will never forgive that bitch ariel for giving up her mer-life to be with that idiot with the boat.

8) tinkerbell is such a huge slut, and i will never understand why

9) and FINALLY the most important point of contention: someone decided to break my heart and include the nightmare before christmas as one of the scenes in this ice show. there were just so very many things wrong with this that i was almost in tears the first time, but allow me to enumerate the most glaringly offensive aberrations.

a) the guy (?) playing jack the pumpkin king was not even six feet tall. i can only assume that this is because he was more of a gymnastic type of skater, because he did a backflip at one point which was impressive but pointless.

b) the headpiece of jack the pumpkin kings costume was so totally all wrong. like, not even close

c) they were singing the "what's this? what's this?" song from the movie all sped up and dancy, just like the aforementioned love songs

d) the whole "story arc" of this stupid scene was that they were having a halloween party and so different disney VILLAINS kept showing up and singing rewritten lyrics to the tune of the nightmare before christmas song about themselves. these villians were: cruella devill, captain hook (?), the witch from snow white (who, if you remember is actually the queen/stepmother, so if anything, thats who should have showed up), maleficent from sleeping beauty, and jafar from aladdin.

e) THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS WAS IN A FUCKING DISNEY ON ICE SHOW! WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO??????

anyway comrades, im just glad its over. at least this weekend we are going to see the tim burton art show at the TIFF bell lightbox. that should make me feel better. till then, peace.

I Am Tired and I Love My Bike

hello comrades. we are officially finished week two of my triathlon training and guess what. training for a triathlon is like, really hard. im not complaining, dont get me wrong, i really enjoy pushing my mind and my body to the max, but let me tell you. i. am. tired. i am also tired of eating. i knew that was going to happen fast. it is very boring and irritating to have to eat every two hours because you are burning so many calories. not to mention time consuming. also, many years of the restaurant industry have made me kind of opposed to cooking so i just end up eating the same thing over and over and over because i just make one big batch of it and eat it for many days. did i mention that its boring?

the downsides aside, though, the last few days have been the beginning of my favourite time of year cycling-wise. i took my beloved jack in for a tune up and ended up getting a whole whack of new stuff put on, including a new chain and cassette (gears), so my baby is running like a dream. and just in time. the snow is gone and we have had some rain followed by some sunshine which means clean, dry roads and spring tailwinds setting me spinning at over 30km/h in some cases. amazing.

when its like this i just think about how much i love our world. i love the human body, and the things i can make it do. i love the blue sky and the laws of physics and the smell of summer and most of all, i love my bike.

I Often Succumb to Peer Pressure

so my dear and long time friend daniel wheaton has recently decided to have another go at regular blogging, and since he was kind enough to give me a shout out on his very first post on his newly redesigned blog, i thought i would be kind enough to do the same. i also thought about how i really need to make more of an effort to keep writing, even if i dont have anything in particular to say.

i realise that sort of sounds like im condoning the irritating practice of filling the void with meaningless rambling, a favourite hobby of the self centred and insecure. this is not the case. its more that i am acknowledging that sometimes writing is like training for a sport. you have to practice it all the time. sometimes you have good days and sometimes you suck, but you will never really reach a level of performance that you want to if you dont keep at it, despite the sucky times. furthermore, upon looking through my old posts when i used to blog all the time, there are a lot of little gems hidden in amongst the mundanities. i imagine those highlights would not have come to be if i hadnt been writing every day and keeping my creative juices flowing.

so there it is, comrades. i am going to try and write more without getting hung up on having a "point" or an "amusing anecdote" or "something to rant about" or an "interesting life" and hopefully, i will not alienate any of you in the process. at least callie will keep reading. i think.

A Series of Obsessions

hello comrades! i hope this fine and sunny thursday is treating you well. so far, things are good on my end, and i do in fact have a few things to update you on. first of all, i decided, somewhat spontaneously, to move my quit smoking date to march the first. for those of you who suck at math or avoid calendars or have been in a coma for the last three days, that makes today my third day of being smoke free.

the reason i decided to move my quit smoking date is two fold: first of all, i decided to sign up for driven to quit, an annual contest sponsored by the canadian cancer society (although it is conspicuously only open to residents of ontario for some reason) wherein if you remain smoke free for the entire month of march, you are entered in a draw to win a variety of prizes, the top two prizes being cars. i have no interest in cars (although if i won one i would sell it and put a fine little dent in my debt), but i am interested in five thousand dollar all inclusive vacations, which is one of the other prizes. truth be told, i was envisioning driven to quit as more of a competition than a contest.... i didnt realise that i would simply be entered in a draw, so it is proving to be less incentivizing than i had thought. that being said, however, i imagine at least fifty percent of the original entrants will fail to remain smoke free, so that should boost my odds. anyway, the other reason i decided to quit early is once i got it in my head that i want to do a triathlon, i couldnt stop thinking about it and i wanted my "official" training to start sooner rather than later. so i thought, forget this june first nonsense, im ready now, and i better strike while the iron is hot. so i did.

anyway, this leads nicely into the real subject of my post today which is that my quitting smoking is going remarkably well, even without the help of nicotine substitutes. the only thing i am taking is an herbal supplement which is supposed to help cleanse my lungs and detox me, which if anything, would make the cravings for a cigarette WORSE. all of this lack of craving and impressive willpower naturally got me wondering WHY this is going so successfully, and here is what i have come to realise. i think that only obsessive people become smokers. or, in the spirit of not leaving anyone out, i think that smoking makes you an obsessive person if you arent already. i suppose this is the "addiction" of smoking: obsession. it isnt habit, it isnt nicotine, its obsession. and if you can find something else to be obsessed about, you will lose interest in smoking. thats how its been for me, anyway. once i got this triathlon commitment solidified in my mind, cigarettes were a thing of the past. now all of my spare time is devoted to training or thinking about training. i have poured all of my obsessive energy into triathletics, and as long as i keep it there, i have no room or time in my brain for cigarettes. even writing about it like this isnt making me want one, which is impressive. so there you go. im sure that other people who have quit may feel differently and their experiences might be completely different from mine, but i never thought quitting smoking would be as easy as it has been, and sincerely believe that has everything to do with my compulsive all-or-nothing personality and very little to do with ritual, habit, routine or nicotine.

I am Not a Robot

hello friends! i hope i didnt alienate any of you during this little glitch where my blog was "removed" from the interwebs. im not totally sure what happened, or when, but apparently google detected SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY on my blog and removed it until i proved that i was not a robot. this proved to be more challenging than im sure google would have imagined, since i do not have a cell phone and i dont have the internet at my house. basically, google wanted to either text me a verification code or phone me with one, but those both posed obvious problems for me due to the aforementioned non-phone-or-internet-having issues. anyway, i managed to hit up one of my brothers friends on facebook to use his phone to receive the text and now we are back online and i owe him a hat. purple and black, which is odd because one of my brothers other friends is buying a purple and black hat from me. this didnt seem to change the friend who did me the favour's mind, though, but i suppose teenage boys dont have teh same hangups as teenage girls when finding themselves in social situations wearing the same clothing and accessories. also, im not going to make the two hats the same in design so that should improve the situation. anyway, im just glad to see that my blog does in fact, exist, and so do i. thank you for bearing with me, dear readers!!!!!!!

Big News, Everybody!

hello comrades! i have some exciting news to share!!!! yesterday, i made two very big and related decisions. the first is that i have decided to set a date to quit smoking. i have never done this before, and ive never wanted to, but now i have and i do. the date is going to be june first, and im going to do it, because i feel ready. im already smoking a quarter of what i was a year and a half ago, and i just dont feel like cigarettes have the hold on me that they once did. it used to be that every moment of every day i was thinking, at least in part, of when i would have my next cigarette, and i really dont feel that way anymore. so i think the time is right.
the second, and far more exciting decision is that the REASON i am going to quit smoking is because i am going to start training for a triathlon!!!! huzzah!!!! where did this come from? well, as im sure my regular readers know, i have always been a pretty bang up swimmer and i do distance cycling every day because i dont have a car. i have always said that im just one sport away from a triathlon. the reason i have never tried to pursue it until now, is i just thought i was physically incapable of running. growing up, i was always a terrible runner, and nowadays im paranoid about hurting my fragile knee. however, last week i was so bored of my usual workout at the gym that i decided to try the treadmill and see how it went. i told myself that if i had any pain in my knee at all, i would stop immediately. it went really well, and ive been using it since. i do have a groin injury that bothers me a little bit, but ive been doing lots of stretching before treadmilling and its getting better. so, i think that triathletics might actually be within my realm of possibility. im super excited about it, and i shall keep you abreast of what is going on.

Put Trudeau's Face On Money

hello comrades. i am not sure how many of my readers are canadian.... i know my sister is and i know jen vandervecht is, but im only 100% sure that 50% of those people actually read my blog, so its a relative question. anyway, in the event that anyone else is reading this and they are in fact canadian, i have started a facebook group called "Canadians in Favour of Putting Trudeau's Face on Money." although i feel this goes without saying, i shall briefly explain. pierre trudeau was canada's most famous and popular prime minister. i get the feeling there are some people who werent that impressed with him, but even THOSE people cant ignore the fact that he bears most of the responsibility for getting us our canadian charter of rights and freedoms. this is the equivalent of the american bill of rights, and it is the highest law in the land. with it, we are protected by law to enjoy all sorts of things like freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, freedom of religion and freedom from discrimination. it is also surprisingly readable. anyway, i am hoping to get enough support for my group that the government might actually take notice, so click the above link to join and lets make a difference in our country!

If You Know Me, This Post May Surprise You

alright, so the big news (alright maybe not that big) this week was that the white stripes announced that they are "splitting up" and no longer making any records or performing together. of course, of course, my nearest and dearest were fast to tell me this and slightly less fast to ask my opinion on the matter, so here it is.

it is difficult for me to admit this, but i think i can safely say that all of my fellow red and white wearing white stripes fans will agree that we all saw this coming. after the white stripes made their documentary "white stripes under northern lights," meg white suffered from a pretty severe case of anxiety and stage fright and has basically been out of the picture ever since. im sure some people might suggest that this was a staged nervous breakdown in order to orchestrate the eventual demise of the white stripes, but that is neither here nor there. the point is, the white stripes simply announced what all of us knew already whether we would admit it or not. and here is the surprising part: i am ok with that.

although i am a little bit sad that the white stripes arent going to be making any more albums, and although i will always consider them my favourite band, the fact of the matter is that even i cannot deny the awesome awesomeness of jack whites other, other band, the dead weather. both horehound and sea of cowards were possibly the most amazing and fantastical things he has ever been a part of and if the white stripes officially admitting they are through is going to be the first in many steps towards jack white committing more or all of his time to the dead weather, then so be it. the white stripes is who he was and the dead weather is what he has become, and i am ok with that. instead of feeling like someone i love (the white stripes) doesnt exist any more, i feel more like that person married some other person who ive only seen pictures of but they look really hot in the pictures and are holding an adorable puppy and i can tell they make more than fifty thousand dollars a year. or something like that. anyway, i guess what im getting at is that i want to be sad, but i know that i cant, because this isnt the closing of a door or the end of an era, its the next starburst of potential in what is surely going to be some of the most gratifying alterna-rock ever written.

I See Trouble on the Way

welp, we are supposed to be getting a massive blizzard overnight and into tomorrow morning, which should be interesting. last time we had a storm as bad as the one they are calling for, most of the businesses in town were shut down because we were all totally snowlocked, which was actually pretty cool. i enjoy crazy snow storms, and im going to enjoy this one especially because i have a fairly large supply of tea, pirates of the carribean movies and knitting to do. i also think im going to break my no drinking during the week rules a get a little bottle of vodka since im going to be stuck inside with my idiotic cats for who knows how long. i also made the proactive move of buying groceries today because its slim pickings over at my place. although i only bought as many groceries as i could fit in my knapsack, and yoghurt was on sale so i used up most of the available volume on three litres of yoghurt. but whatever. i also had the joyous experience of contending with packs of semi retired mediterranean women who for some reason shop in groups of three, have ill advised super short hair cuts and bad dye jobs. it must be a cultural thing. anyway i suppose i shall be in radio silence for the next couple of days, so fare thee well comrades! i will let you know how the storm turned out!!!!!!!!!!!

My Brains Are Tingling

sooooooo one of my friends is in school for some sort of vague computer networking nonsense and is having trouble with his ciphering. as we all know (or ought to), i am fond of ciphering, to the extent that i am actually teaching myself how to do hexadecimal arithmetic solely for the purpose of helping him with his homework. *sigh* the joys of being a geek.

in other news, i finally found a used copy of season four of the office, which i have been looking for for over a year. i have been rewatching seasons two and three over, and over, and over and over, and its not that im sick of them, but i get so into the ongoing storylines and im like I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!! even though i kind of already do. its not the same though as actually watching.

which brings me to another point. when you dont have cable or satellite or whatever and you only ever watch dvds, as is the case with me, watching regular television becomes one of the most aggravating experiences known to man. i never have to put up with commercials and i get to watch a whole season of a show at once, which makes it feel like a nice, long, long, long movie. amazing.

anyway, as you can probably tell, i really didnt have much else to write about after i got finished with talking about hexadecimal, but my sister was harassing me to blog so i thought i would oblige her. i wish i had more exciting information to share, but sadly, i dont. although this one librarian keeps stalking around the computer area like some kind of jungle cat, glaring at all of us. im not totally clear as to why she is doing this except perhaps that she is suspicious of all of us non computer having miscreants or something. who knows.

The Nexus of the Universe?

alright so i finally did that shameful act. i googled myself. no, not that, actual googling. like www.google.com. why? because in the chat room on 20sb, someone is filling out a dating website profile and one of the questions is "do you google people before a first date" and the two girls having the conversation both said that they did. this is not something that would have occurred to me to do at all, but it got me thinking, what if someone were to google ME before a first date???? and lo and behold, great sakes alive, this is what i found!

like, what??????????? this isnt me, but i sure as hell wish it was! SO WEIRD. i guess there is a lesson here, some sort of sage fabley type thing where you have to be careful of doing dangerous stuff like googling yourself or it could freak you out. just stick to the other kind of googling, i guess. better safe than sorry.

Double Nostalgia

so last week i was stuck killing some time on my bike in the freezing cold, waiting for a church to open its doors for cubs. since it was freezing and after dark, i opted to kill said time riding my bike around the neighbourhood to curb my boredom and try to get warm. although riding around in circles didnt do much to accomplish either, i did have an unexpected bout of what shall henceforth be called "double nostalgia." during this little excursion, i ended up riding around a school parking lot for a while and it reminded me of when my siblings and i were kids and we used to bike around the parking lot at the health centre on the corner of our street. but it ALSO reminded me of when i was in high school learning to drive and my dad took me to parking lots to turn doughnuts on the ice. it was very strange to be so reminded of memories that are so far apart, chronologically and thematically. anyway, that was pretty much the high point of the evening, because approximately three hours later, the russians tromped us and it was totally fucking embarassing.

Maybe This Year Will Be Better Than the Last

hello comrades! well the holidays are finally over, and i would say i had a more or less relaxing time. good food, good company, and some much needed rest. who can complain about that. although im sure that having a full five days of work is going to feel something like water torture by the time friday rolls around.
anyway, at the risk of this sounding like a new years resolution (it isnt) i am looking forward to getting back into my workout routine. i have been climbing the walls the last couple of weeks since i havent been to the y recently. the holidays and work totally interfered, and then i managed to throw myself off my bike when my front tire got stuck in a sewer grate and i was too injured to work out. on top of all that, i have been doing nothing but eating sugary food and drinking oceans of beer and vodka. all of it adds up to me feeling tired, flabby and gross. SO once i get done writing this post, i am going to be off to the ymca and hopefully by this time next week my athletics will be back in full swing.
in other news, i left one of my knitting needles at trevors last night and im right pissed. i dont really want to buy a new pair but i also have very few other projects on the go to tide me over till next weekend. *sigh*

Snowflakes = Fractals

hello comrades! i sincerely apologise for the infrequency of my posting. my sister has been complaining on behalf of all of you, so never fear, someone is looking out for you and your need to read! anyway, the truth is the branch of the library where i usually go for my internet fix is closed for the finishing touches to the big renovation and this is the first chance ive had to come to a different branch. on top of all that, there have been big kerfuffles in my personal life and i have had running around to do for the holidays and i just havent had time to write. PLUS whenever i DID sit down to write lately, i got distracted by catching up with the blogging blobs, who im sure you all remember i am rather fond of. but all of this is neither here nor there, because i actually have been holding onto TWO topics that i want to write about, and both are brief and semi related, so i shall write both in this one post.
first of all, we are enjoying (or not enjoying, i guess) the first of what is predicted to be a very snowy winter here in southern ontario and monday morning started bright and early with minus twenty five degree wind chill and black ice due to flash freezing. although it was a little inhospitable out, a sick and twisted part of me was delighted. for one thing, i am fond of winter, and for another, more important thing, i was eager to try out my new skinny road tires on the ice and snow. i had road tires on my old bike a few years ago, but its been a while and this is a different bike, so i was curious about how the handling was going to turn out. since i put the new tires on, i have felt the handling much more sensitive to small changes in the steering which makes for more concentration when riding. i assumed that the ice and snow was going to be way mroe difficult to navigate than they were with my old tires that were wider and had more tread, but i actually found the opposite to be true. i dont know if this is some bizarre trick of physics, or if i am just a better rider on road tires (possibly a bit of both) but i was able to control my bike much better with the skinny slippery tires than the big rugged ones. i think its because the lack of traction helps me glide through/over the snowy patches instead of having to plow through them which always results in wobbliness if not complete system failure. i must admit, stopping short isnt much of an option on the ice, but i am pretty good at slowing down well before hitting red lights. also i am always prepared to leap off of my bike in the worst case scenario of losing control. all said, it was an interesting and delightful turn in my ongoing bicycle narrative.
the other thing i wanted to mention is semi related in that it is about my fondness for mathematics, and i suppose my other story is kind of about my being impressed by if not fond of physics. this past weekend, dave and i were visiting my aunt and uncle and my cousin was helping me with a craft which involved some gluing and as we were laying out the things to be glued before actually setting them, my cousin remarked that the way i was patterning them was actually going to match the planned design perfectly. to which i told her not to ever doubt mathematics, for it was the mathematics of pixellation that made my design perfect. this gave me pause to reflect on how much i love that about math and in many ways science. although i have my own internal struggles with my faith at times, i can honestly say this: math is one of the ways that God reveals himself to us. it is perfection, mysterious, unshakable. it made me realise why there are certain sects (like Kabbalah, i believe) of Judaism and other faiths that have a very distinct numerology. many would say that sort of thing is nonsense or voodoo, like astrology or something, but i kind of get it. math is so perfect, its almost divine. maybe it is, and those people are just seeking divinity where its most likely to be found. i dont know, but it certainly is some food for thought.

Odes

hello comrades! i have had a number of little odes that i have been meaning to write and so i thought i would combine them all together and make a condensed little list, because i am a fan of things that are little and poignant. although i cant really promise this is going to be poignant, other than the poignancy of its minute size. but no matter. here goes.

-> falafel is the finest food for under three dollars. it is a complete meal, full of pickles and lovely condiments. it is filling, warm, delicious and never disappointing. i wish we could say that about everything in life.

-> snowpants allow you to go to work in your pyjamas and no one knows any better. especially when your snowpants look like khaki pants, as mine do. i may not have to do laundry again until spring.

-> alpacas make the world a fluffier place. they are so cute. i finally splurged on a ball of 100% alpaca yarn for myself and it is such a joy to work with. just wrapping it around my fingers gives me immense satisfaction and i love rubbing the complete mitten all over my face, imagining i am on an alpaca farm.

-> comfortable silence with the person you love is very rewarding and intimate. too many people talk too much and dont know how to just be.

-> winter is for happiness and christmas and snow. reminds me of home and simpler times.

Good Sweat

hello all! i seem to have lost a follower! oh well. im pretty sure my sister is the only one of my followers who actually reads my blog, so it doesnt really matter. anyway, thats not what i am going to write about today. instead, i am going to mention again my fondness for blogging blobs, especially since they have inspired me to write a post. in case you are just tuning in to the relevance of blogging blobs, this is a diet non support group of some american plus sizers whose blog i find both entertaining and informative. entertaining because they spend a lot of time making fun of each other and accusing some guy named bret of being a closet case and informative because as my regular readers know, i am immensely fascinated with the goings on in the heads of the world's obese.
so why am i mentioning this again? because now that these wide loads have been on their diets for a couple of weeks, it has occurred to approximately half of them that they might actually have some hope of losing weight if they actually darkened the doors of a gym once in a while. bravo for them! the interesting corollary of this is that they are learning all about the fantastic world of exercise and hitting a few road bumps along the way. this, dear readers, is what has inspired this post. i would henceforth like to offer the following tips for people who are new to exercise to make the process a little less painful.
1) it isnt how much you eat, its what you eat. losing weight and getting healthy has very little to do with the volume of food you are eating. when you are overweight and start working out, it can be frustrating to feel even hungrier than before when you are trying to eat less so you can lose weight. dont get frustrated, because you dont have to eat less! you just have to eat better! the fact that you are getting hungry is a good sign because it means that you are actually burning off some of those calories during your work out. try to focus on eating a little bit all day long instead of three large meals and learn to snack smart. reach for an apple instead of a chocolate bar and some raw unsalted nuts instead of those chips. go ahead, you can do it. youll like it.
2) how to not fall off the elliptical trainer. i know using the elliptical trainer can feel more like a near death experience than a workout. here is what i suggest: if you bend slightly at the waist as the crossramp is increased, you will change your centre of gravity enough that you wont feel so top heavy and wont have the sensation that you are about to fall. if you feel like the only choice the machine is giving you is to go super duper fast (a complaint from one of the blobs) try increasing the resistance. also, remember, weight loss and overall health is all about cardio. you should be trying to stay in your target heart rate for at least 15 minutes every day in order to build cardiac muscle and lose weight. for most people in their 20s the target is somewhere in the 170-180 beats per minute range, but for the blobs if they can get themselves over 120 to start with they will get good results.
3) dont get hung up on numbers. its easy to fall victim to your scale. just dont do it. numbers are mostly irrelevant because all of us are different. for example, i am 20 pounds heavier than i was a year ago even though im two sizes smaller. why? because i have speed skater thighs and i bulk up easy. since im a woman you cant really see how much muscle mass ive gained but its a lot. dont let the scale tell you how to feel about yourself. thats what mirrors are for.
i guess thats all i have to say on this subject for now, but i do look forward to getting more inspiration from my favourite fat friends.