Ode To The Lovers

they took a ride to la-la land with no sign of coming back
left us all behind
left us in the dust
sure they never would come back
they seemed to like it there
i had been there once
but my lease ran out and i left
but they seem to like it
i don't think they're ever coming back

Preview

alright here we go with my first ever review of a preview. hahaha. i am going to discuss the new spiderman movie. everyone seems pretty geared up for it, but i have to say, so far i havent been overly impressed with the new strain at all. this new one looks like it should be called "spiderman versus the dark forces inside himself versus giant sand monster man" and im pretty sure thats going to be the whole movie. anyway, of course im going to see it, but im just not as blown away by the preview as everyone else is. c'est la vie.

No One Said It Would Be Easy

well, i feel totally out of control right now. my grades are slip, slip, slipping, and the worse it gets, the less i want to do. i dont know how im going to get through the month of april with nonstop exams, papers, moving, and needing to take on more special needs clients. fourth year is supposed to be the final send off, but all its shaping up to be for me is one big flunk fest. i dont know how much more of this i can take. theres so much pressure to succeed... everyone seems to have their shit together, while i just sit at home watching six feet under and waiting for my next swim to start. i feel like everything i do these days is a form of escapism. television, books, movies, swimming, drinking, eating, napping....even right now, im blogging because i felt i needed a "study break"... i only gave my studying a solid hour. there was a time when i could study for a six hour stretch. fuck, what is WRONG with me?

The Day My Grandfather Died

my grandfather died today. this was a man that i never saw very much, and i didnt know him very well. but my dad is feeling a tremendous sense of loss right now, and it all got me thinking. i think the thing that makes me saddest about death, and this one in particular, is how life just goes on. today, i had a cigarette in the bright warm sun, and my grandfather will never feel the sun on his skin again. and i walked through torrential downpour rains today, and he will never get to hear the raindrops drumming away on the pavement, kindly coaxing the flowers back to life. and he will never get to see the sunset, or smell the wet grass in the spring, or experience any of the other beautiful things there are on this most miraculous planet. and i know that heaven is supposed to be so much more marvellous than anything here, so great that in our mortal lives, we cannot even comprehend it, but at the same time i am sad, because there is so much beauty here [see "why i study biology" in the archives] that i dont know what to do with it. and even though the afterlife is so much better, i have a lot of appreciation for the things here, and i love every inch of it, as it surrounds me, all the time.
my thoughts and prayers are with you dad, and rest in peace, grandpa.

My New Self Portrait

Our Endless Numbered Days

man, i am in such a grouch today. first of all, the chick who gave me my orthotics gave me grief about my shoes being too small, which was upsetting because i just bought them and i know theyre snug and i just didnt want to hear it. then, my arm is KILLING me, i think i messed it up doing rhomboid lifts. i cant believe how much it hurts. THEN my appointment to see my new apartment took way too long and here i am missing swimming, partly because i didnt go late, and partly because i feel i should rest my arm. what a lot of frustration. :( hopefully tomorrow will be better.

YES

YES, i am wearing my pyjamas to school, and YES, i know that the top clashes with the bottoms, and YES, i am waiting to use the toilet, i dont think that the washroom in BSB is a really cool place to hang out, and YES, my piercings did hurt, and YES, i smoke, and YES, i really am a vegetarian, and YES, i wear my glasses to see and not for fashion, and YES, i really do hate coldplay, and YES, i really do hate Rush, and YES, i have two cats, and YES, i am graduating this year, and YES, i really didnt ever need braces, and YES, that was a stupid question.

My Deepest Desires?

last night i had the strangest dream. i dreamt that i was at this dinner party. i cant remember who all was there, but it was mostly people i know. i think jordan might have been there, but im not sure. anyway, the main course had shrimp in it, and i was like, i dont eat shrimp. but then i started eating it anyway, i think i figured what the hell. and then i was crunching them and munching them and eating them all, even the tails. and then, we were all drinking really large tequila shots. like, large as in that kind of shot doesnt really exist. like three or four ounces. and i was stressed because we didnt rim the glasses with salt, but then i remembered that the usual way is to put the salt on your hand. anyway, so then my dream suddenly changed, and my histology teacher was actually my dentist, but she was dressed like a surgeon. and she gave me a needle in the part of my hand on the top side in the fleshy part between the thumb and finger. and i was like, ow, what was that for. and she was like, you have herpes. and i was like thats not even possible. and she didnt believe me, and i was really aggravated. so then i figured out that i got herpes because owen had herpes and i had used his towel after he had used it without washing it, so i got the herpes on myself that way. also, i had no symptoms of herpes. WEIRD

A New Kind Of Review

well, im sitting here procrastinating when i should be studying, so ive decided to do an altogether new kind of review: a review of my supper. during this supper i tried three new products from the health food store, so i guess its kind of like a consumer review.






















first, i tried the new simply asia sesame teriyaki noodle bowl. this product is brought to us by the makers of the thai kitchen products, which, for instant meals, are among the best. the simply asia stuff is all natural "premium" versions of the same thing. these noodle bowls are kind of expensive, but they contain an impressive amount of food and you can clean out the bowl and reuse it. this is handy, since it comes with a snap on lid, and dont we all need more reusable containers? anyway, the noodles are already cooked which makes for speedy delivery to your empty, hurried guts. the sauce was fine, no complaints, ill give this instant meal an A on the instant meal grading system.
next i had shady maple farms certified organic maple waffles. these are a different version of those dutch waffle cookies that have syrup in between. i have been eyeing them at the health food store for a while. since i finally caved and decided to fork out the 5.50 for them, i was delighted to learn that they are expired and the chick gave them to me for free. woo hoo! free cookies! anyway, these are good, just as good as the regular ones, but without all the refined sugar. possibly even better because maple is one of the greatest flavours ever. the only thing is the cookies themselves tasted a little over done, like they had been in the oven too long, but let me reiterate: FREE COOKIES.
finally, i bought a bag of dried pineapple caleld "frutos de los andes" by level ground trading ltd. as the name would suggest, this company is all about organic foods and fair trade, no exploiting the south americans for these guys. right on. anyway, so the pineapple is delicious, it hasnt been sweetened, its just ripe, so i like it a lot. not too sugary, a nice little snack.
so there you go, three new products for you to try to put yummies in your tummies and feel good about it too.

The Times They Are A Changin'

well, as you can all see, i have made some changes to the appearance of my blog. im not sure how im feeling about the colours i picked, so i would really appreciate some feedback. its just that the green and blue werent really working for me, and i think we all know why, im a red and black and white girl at heart and i feel these colours are a little more me. im just not sure if i should change the post title colour to red and the link colour on the side to yellow or maybe something else. so let me know what you guys think :)
also, i have added some new links to the sidebar. i have added cat and girl, my favourite online comic, also a great supplier of hilarious tshirts, a link to daniel wheaton's blog (there you go buddy, i did you a favour) and live from montréal details the infrequent ramblings of kyle effin bailey. so enjoy.

Sweet Elixer Of Life!

i realised a while ago that my blog is titled "science tea and cats" and that i have talked often about science, occasionally about cats, and very rarely, if at all, about tea. so, i feel it is due time that i devote a post to that most divine beverage: tea. as im sure most of my readers are aware, i drink an unusual amount of tea. i also collect teas, my end goal being to be able to say "you have the sickness, i have the cure, please follow me to the tea room" and then provide the illness with a befitting tea. so what is the deal with tea? i am going to outline this post in a somewhat organized fashion, because i have a lot to say. so be warned: long post ahead.
THE HISTORY OF TEA
most people are aware that tea has been around for thousands of years. legend has it that tea was first created when some ancient chinese people (probably monks, the ancient chinese in stories are always monks) were boiling water in a big pot one day near a bush and apparently some leaves fell into the pot. the monks noticed this and decided to try drinking the beverage anyway (this seems like an unwise and rather un-monklike decision, since the leaves could have been poison, but maybe they were just THAT enlightened) and they decided they liked it. thus tea was born. the chinese have a long history of growing and making tea, and tea is a huge part of chinese culture. much of the health benefits associated with drinking tea come from the evidence shown in the obvious longevity of chinese tea drinkers
but the chinese are not the only people who have been drinking tea for a long time. tea has been prevalent in indian culture for centuries or even millenia as well. also, there is huge cultural significance surrounding tea in japan. also, we dont hear much about it, but certain kinds of tea are just as relevant to south americans as coffee.
now lets fast forward to more recent history. tea managed to find its way over to europe during the time of the explorers, and everyone fell in love with it (and why not?), particularly the british. so, during the height of the british empire, tea was a huge import to britain and the british colonies. also, due to the heavy influence the british empire had on the countries it had occupied, many british customs leaked into those countries and stayed there for good. this includes india (which, as i mentioned, already had tea going for it), canada, the united states, and parts of africa. to this day, even after the long over fall of the british empire, tea is the number one most consumed beverage in the whole world, and that is in part due to the huge influence of the british. also, as im sure most of you may know, the british and the australians still have a prevalent and unique culture surrounding tea, with "afternoon tea" or "high tea" enjoyed by everyone at 4pm (what we in canada lovingly refer to as after school snack).
KINDS OF TEA
types of tea are differentiated by their processing and by what part of the tea leaf is used. in some cases, the plant is not the usual tea leaf.
1) Black Tea: black tea is made from tea leaves that have been fully oxidized during processing. it has a higher caffeine level than other teas, and is the tea of choice of most north americans.
2) Green Tea: green tea is not oxidized. it is withered after harvesting to prevent oxidation. it is the traditional tea of many asian countries including china and japan. many people consider green tea to be the "healthiest" tea. (i think that every tea has health benefits, it just depends on what benefits you are looking for). green tea generally has lower caffeine and higher levels of antioxidants than black tea, and is an excellent detoxification tea. it is also associated with longevity and lower rates of colon cancer in women.
3) white tea: white tea is made from only the top (young) leaves and buds of the plant, which have a delicate white layer on them, hence the name white tea. because of this, white tea is the most rare, and is often the most expensive. it has the highest antioxidants and detoxifying agents of all the teas, and is therefore helpful for good liver function. (an excellent hangover tea). the caffeine level in white tea is also minimal, comparable to that of green tea.
4) oolong tea: the word oolong means "black dragon" so you know its a sexy tea. the leaves are partly oxidized after withering, steaming and rolling so it is kind of a combination of black and green tea. a great tea for someone who wants the best of both worlds.
5) flavoured tea: flavoured tea is any of the above tea that have been combined with something to have a flavour in them. there might just be spices or petals of certain flowers mixed in with the tea, or the tea might have been cooked briefly with essential oils from a certain fruit. in other cases, the combination of two different flavours fools you into tasting something completely different. (example: aloe vera and white tea leaves an aroma of white grapefruit)
6) herbal teas: these can be anything. herbal teas are just dried plant leaves that you prepare like tea. usually caffeine free, and in some cases, you can take drugs this way.
7) yerba meté: this tea is made from a different plant. it has great cultural significance in south america, and grows in the rainforest. it is associated with longevity and high caffeine levels leading to increased memory and mental awareness. interestingly, for such a potent upper, it has a very mild taste
8) matcha: this is the special powdered green tea from japan, used in particular during the famous japanese tea ceremony (which takes like, five hours!). this tea is considered to be more beneficial to your health than regular green tea because you are actually eating the ground up leaves while you drink it
9) rooibos: rooibos means "red bush" and this tea has only recently been introduced in north america. rooibos is native to south africa. of all the teas, it is the most acquired taste. it is caffeine free, high in antioxidants, aids in digestion, and may help prevent heart disease. there are many flavoured rooibos teas out there, but plain rooibos has an almost berry-like taste.
MY FAVOURITE TEAS
since i have such a keen interest in tea, i am always looking out for new ones to try. so, from here on out, i am going to start publishing tea reviews of all the new teas i try here on my blog. that said, i will just briefly mention my favourites here. its a hard decision to make, because different teas have different purposes and i drink each one at different times for different reasons. because of this, i like all teas for one reason for another. that said, here are my top three overall.
3) "heaven's key" custom mix by teaopia. heaven's key is a white tea mixed with aloe vera bits (mentioned above) to leave a white grapefruit aroma. my mum gave me a bag of this tea for christmas, and it was phenomenal. i couldnt get enough of it, it was so good, especially after a night of drinking. i have less that one cup's worth left now, and ive been saving that last little bit for when i really really want it.
2) earl grey. any earl grey will do, but i think my favourite so far is the organic one i picked up at the health store. earl grey in general is a straight up classic black tea with a slightly citrus aroma. i take mine with milk, by far my stand by and usual first cup of the day.
1) golden heaven yunnan: this tea is available at zencha tea bar in collingwood. it is a very rare african black tea and it is SOOOOO expensive. its 35 dollars for 100g of the stuff, but man oh man, that stuff is like CRACK. the aroma is beautiful, the taste is wonderful, it doesnt need milk (but you could put milk in if you want) and after a cup of it, you get this amazing body buzz. its actually pretty unreal, ive never had anything like it.

runners up: white monkey paw, peppermint black gunpowder, throat comfort tea, and bija double ginger

The Truth About Television

for years i have whole heartedly rejected television. that is, i do not have cable, and i generally watch movies over television when given the choice. i mean, im one of the only people i know who actually says "television" instead of that disgusting abbreviation, tv. but, i will admit, through various means, whether legal or not, i do occaisonally run into shows that i cannot get enough of (minus commercials, the cornerstone of my anti television philosophy). most recently, the two shows i have become enamoured with (or re-enamoured with in one case) are house and scrubs. and as i have sat here, making excuses for watching both of these shows when i actually have schoolwork to do, forcing myself to stay up very very late to get schoolwork done, or missing swimming like i am tonight, i realised a solemn truth about the television shows that do, somehow, manage to grab me. the fact is, the shows that do break their way through my enormous resistance, are shows that bring me hope. i know that most medical shows (or law shows, or crime shows or whatever) are not very realistic and so on, but there's something about the lessons that soothe me. there's something about watching fake people accomplish everything that i have set out to accomplish and learning their little scripted lessons along the way that make me feel better. and even, i hate to say it, inspire me. and for those 22 or 42 minute time frames, i find a way sometimes to believe in myself and what i do. to believe that i will one day reach out and take that medical degree, because right now, i sit here surrounded by my life and i am slowly building my staircase and climbing it at the same time

My Quest

well, what a day this has been. i set off this afternoon to see an apartment way a ways on the east side of hamilton. the girl i was supposed to meet never showed. so, i started hoofing it back instead of taking the bus to write down apartment phone numbers that i saw that i might be interested in. it was a long and treacherous walk (well not that treacherous) and i went to an apartment building i had seen had an open house closer to downtown. the super showed me an apartment and he was a very nice guy, and if i moved there, i would be allowed to have a dog. so thats pretty exciting, i just don't know if i can afford it. im looking at another place tomorrow thats about the same price, in a house. and im going to go down to this other building near my old place thats a little cheaper tomorrow. its all a little unnerving, but a little exciting too. i hope i can find a way to make my big grown up life work. as i was on the bus driving towards the no show, i couldnt help but feel i was looking for my future. or even my destiny. and as i was walking back, i kept seeing people with dogs and i wanted to accost them, saying "where do you live! get me a place in your building!" but of course i didnt.

Liquish?

well, as i mentioned in my previous post, i looked into the so-called "liquish" olives that i bought from the asian snack food store. unfortunately, i turned up very little information. what i can tell you is this. the "olives" as they were labelled in the store, are not the mediterranean olives that we are used to in greek cuisine. also, i think the word "liquish" might actually be a misspelling of "licorice" but im not sure. there might have been a licorice taste to the olives, but i usually like licorice, and these bad boys were awful. so, dear readers, i am asking you to see if you can find any information on this disgusting product for me, so i can have a better idea of what i ate.

Happy Snow Day!

i mean, happy valentine's day. and this has certainly been a valentines to remember. yesterday, the weather was brtual, we were having a blizzard and a half. it looked like a snow day for sure. i went to bed praying that today would be a snow day, because i had my logic midterm, and i was not prepared. so, early this morning, i checked to see if it was a snow day, and they had decided to close the school until noon and reevaluate the weather at 11am. damn. my test was supposed to be at 230, so as of this morning, i was still on the hook for writing it. i was frantically trying to study, and getting seriously stressed. but then, lo and behold, i checked the "reevaluation" of the weather at 11, and school was closed for the day! hooray! now i have a whole extra week plus some to prepare for the test, and prepare for it i shall. so, with a free day on my hands, i felt it was time for some adventuring. and of course, every adventurer needs a comrade, so of course i called amit. after some waiting around and watching seinfeld, amit arrived, and he had brought me a rose and some indian sweets for valentines! that just made my day. (amit, thank you again, you are such a doll). so we were off. i had it in my head that i wanted to try having steamed milk with mint in it, so first stop was the second cup. steamer with mint gets a roaring a+. then we were off to shoppers where i mailed kate her valentine (late of course), and then we went to the mall. i needed some cleaning supplies, and i thought we might stop into this strange asian food store for some foreign candied fruit. i got something called liquish olive and something else called sweet plum. i also got some wasabi chick peas and some cheese flavoured tiny breadsticks. everything was tasty except the olives, which were nasty. (research on them to be completed soon, update to follow). then we wandered around the mall for a bit to pick up my cleaning supplies and i was kind of sort of looking for sunglasses, but i wasnt too bent on the idea. before we left, i got it in my head that i wanted to try running up the down escalator. it was so awesome. about half way up i heard people cheering but i couldnt see where they were because i was looking at my feet. then i made it all they way to the top, but i couldnt get off the thing because the top is the hardest part. so i ended up falling (and i SCREWED my ankle, the same ankle which i already have an x ray and a sports medicine appointment for) and i bashed my knee, but man was it worth it. so i rode the escalator back down on my ass to amit waiting at the bottom. looking around, i realised that the people cheering were some mall rats between 13 and 15 years old. they were also horsing around on the escalator, and the security guard showed up to tell them off while amit and i made a quick retreat. after that we were off to noodle chef, where we each had a beto box, and then on our way home. what a riot. i cant wait to tell the doctor that i hurt my ankle MORE while i was running up a down elevator. im sure that will go over AWESOME.

Fond-Who?

yesterday was the grand finale to yet another hilarious amit and chloé adventure. the best part about this particular adventure, is that its duration spanned the better part of three days, and i hope i leave no stone unturned while telling the story. so here it is.
last week, i recieved an email from everybody's favourite artist, shayla, inviting me to a party she was having friday, february 9. i made a mental note of this email, and then dismissed it for the time being. come monday of this week, i realised the party was looming and i needed someone to go with, since shaylas partise are always busy and i dont want to take up all of her social time when she has other people to be talking to. so, of course, of course, i did what anyone would do in this situation, i invited amit. amit said of course hed come, and the plans were set. after that, we figured going to shaylas would be as easy as stopping at the liquor store, but we were wrong. on tuesday, i ran into one of shaylas friends, amanda, at the blood donor clinic (sweet elixer of life!), who reminded me of two things. the first was that the costume theme of the party was the food industry (which was apparently amanda's idea) and that we were supposed to bring dip. good thing i ran into her, i thought. so on wednesday, when i met up with amit, i said "what dip are we going to bring to shaylas party? we need to bring the most original dip, something NOONE else will bring." and without missing a beat, amit said "fondue". GENIUS! i said, except we need a fondue pot. so, since we both had our afternoon free, we made plans to go on a fondue pot quest on thursday, after our shopping around on wednesday was far from fruitful. (although, i did finally get some grocery shopping done on that day, and amit and i made a trip to the bakery. there was also a pie incident that threatened our friendship, but crisis was averted, and the story goes on).
so, thursday afternoon we head downtown. since i had given blood on tuesday, that gave me the green light for a new piercing, and i had been itching for a double eyebrow piercing for quite sometime. i asked amit if he wouldnt mind if we made a side trip so i could start my eyebrow piercing adventure, and he said no problem. so, i got an appointment at the parlour. an hour or so later, and i was pierced and feeling great, with amit having been my first ever stand by piercing witness. he also held my glasses for me which was nice.
so we were off, eyebrow throbbing, hearts pounding, in anticipation of our soon to be fondue pot. we ended up finding one at this really cracked out department store called hart in jackson square. there was this guy a head of us in line with scary prison tats, but the fondue pot was nice and cheap. so amit suggested we go to the liquor store right after so we wouldnt have to go the next day but i said wait because i didnt know how much money i had. this turned out to be a bad call on my part, details to follow. anyway, so i was pretty buzzed with my new piercing and i wanted to go for a couple of drinks. amit was kind of hungry, so we went to this dive bar called buttinsky's down town. i got havlf snapped on three doubles, thanks to my blood donation, and amit and i had an ever interesting exchange of information regarding each other's religion. will that topic ever get old? i think not. so after that, we headed to our seperate homes
friday nite came around with amit calling to ask me to let him into the building, only to get in on his own and scare the pants off of me in the hall. we decided to walk to fortinoes and the liquor store, since the bus is rarely any faster for a medium walking distance like that. on our way to the liquor store, however, we discovered that someone had taken an enormous chunk out of dundurn street. i said it looked like a supervillain had been through. anyway, there was absolutely no way to get down dundurn, so we had to find a way around. after getting trapped in a cul de sac, we accosted a motorist to direct us around, and then we were on our way. after picking up liquor, we went to the grocery store to get fruits and chocolate, and had much bickering along the way about how to buy fruit and how we should have gone to the liquor store on thursday. anyway. i, having three siblings, consider bickering a cornerstone to healthy relationships. amit is not as used to it and i think he was worried we were fighting. anyway, on the way home, irritation with each other gave way to laughter and excitement about the party. we were so excited about our fondue, we were sure it would be the best dip at the party. we were imagining that the fondue set would have people inviting us to all of their parties until we realised that people love the fondue, not us. then we predicted the fondue set would tear us apart in the end and wed have to get rid of it.
so we arrived at my house and got set to cut up the fruit which took a fraction of the time i thought it would. i got changed into my nice kitchen clothes (not my gross snooty clothes), and we headed to amits. amit pounded down three slices of bread at his house and i helped him with his tie, and he looked great. we headed across the street to shaylas only to find there were only four of us in costume! amanda wasnt even in costume even though the costumes were apparently her idea. not only that, but most of shaylas guests didnt show, they were mostly megans friends and shaylas boyfriends friends. but no matter, my outfit made the fondue seem even more slick and we were right, best dip at the party. amit and i spent the rest of the night pounding down bread and dip and vodka and having a grand time. we were sharing an armchair at one point and i joked later that all of that cuddling was blowing my chances of meeting someone at the party. i also ended up taking a nap in shaylas bed (of course) and then trying to nap more on the couch. shayla burned her self on hot pita bread and amit told her to put toothpaste on it and then she was fussing over it for the rest of the night. a couple more people showed up in costume at the end of the night, and we headed home well after two. so that is the story of the fondue. big thanks go out to shayla, we had a blast, and amit, heres to our next adventure.

Group Work

well, i have to say, if i have to do one more group project, im going to puke. and each group seems worst than the last. my current issue is with my ecology group, one of the girls in particular is a hyper keener, totally passive aggressive and controlling. she is one of these chicks who never lost that grade school mentality of "doing as much work as possible=getting an A". it was great though when our teacher ripped apart our outline that we handed in, that she wrote, because it was way too long and complicated. haha. anyway as if she wasnt irritating enough, i can handle people like that with my bitchiness and no nonsense manner, but i found myself sitting with ryan (thank God for ryan, i dont know what i would do in that group without him) listening to these girls talking about their friends who are engaged (and the one girl who is engaged) for like 20 minutes while i picked MUD out of my hair (result of riding my bike in this weather) wondering why it isnt blindingly obvious to my mother why i am not this kind of girl. what kind? the kind who is planning on getting married. this is exactly why. while girls like this titter and giggle about getting married, i am sitting with the only guy in the room picking mud out of my hair and writing my never ending to do list in my head. but WHATEVER, apparently IM the abnormal one. anyway, i finally finished my paper and i think i deserve/need a drink.

Sold!

well, after hearing so much about it, i finally saw an episode of house, and i am SOLD. house, as you may well know, is a show about a doctor who hates just about everything. he has no interest in treating patients, only in treating illnesses. tough diagnoses and treatments are his game, and thats exactly how he looks at it, a game. its like hes a detective, solving the mysteries hidden in enigmatic symptoms. hes rude, mean, uncaring, and dispassionate, and the show, as everyone keeps saying is fantastic. ive only seen the first episode (im supposed to be sleeping/studying) but it was totally worth it.

Eureka!

i have done it! after many years, the quest, until perhaps stumbling by accident upon a different outcome, is finally over. for years, i have eaten every slice of new pizza i could get my hands on. and i constantly, constantly, was playing a game of "sauce from place A plus cheese from place B plus crust from place C plus topping freshness from place D plus topping selection from place E equals the best pizza ever" but really, the quest was to find this perfect pizza without having to assemble it in my imagination using resources from 5 different places. and i think, at last, that it has been done. basilique in westdale is a pizza place that i have been to many times, but i dont think i have ever gotten the pizza. or if i had, it was only once, but i really dont think i ever had. anyway, i finally tried their vegetarian standard slice last night, and it was, without a doubt, the best piece of pizza i have ever had. that said, tonite i got their pizza called "sabrienas favourite" the only modification i made to which was to substitute spinach (thats right i said spinach) for the tomatoes. and DAMN its amazing. so we can put the case of the perfect pizza to bed for now.

Merde!

well, what a day this has been. where shall i even start. my day started with shayla coming over to drink yerba meté with me, and this was by far the high point of my day. in about 24 hours, my life has gone from managable to out of control. im up to my eyeballs in school work, and most of the stuff i have to do is all due within the same couple of days. needless to say, i felt on the brink of a break down, but after some pondering and mental checklisting, i have divided my work into more managable packets, so i would say im under controlled stress and feeling a little better. i know that everything always comes together in the end, but sometimes the coming together is painful. and as if i didnt already resent my job enough, i could really use my saturday and sunday this weekend to get stuff done, but what can you do? anyway, so as i was stressing, i was looking forward to my first day back at the pool. this semester, due to some schedule conflicts, im swimming at mac instead of at dalewood, and im pretty happy about it. i can still drop in and do masters at dalewood when i have time, and i plan to, but the mac masters is what im signed on for and its three days a week. anyway, so as i said, i was looking forward to getting back in the water, and today was my first time in the changeroom since the new renovations were completed. the new changeroom is HUGE! and its a veritable labyrinth. i was wandering and wandering trying to find the entrance to the pool, asking everyone if they knew how to get there. theres no signs or anything. turns out, you have to get through the locker labyrinth, past the SECOND set of showers, through a door, through a twisting corridor, through another door (which for some reason walks past windows of people working out, and there was a pack of girls running laps through this corridor with some sort of coach or instructor yelling at them), through another door, past a THIRD set of showers, and through the FINAL door to get to the pool. had i not been so frustrated with my day in general, and so looking forward to swimming, i might have found such an adventure fun. anyway, so i get to the pool finally and there was a kids swim team in the pool, but i new i was early, so i wasnt too worried about it. anyway, so this guy (kind of cute, actually) who was not a lifeguard approaches me and is like, are you here for the public swim, and i was like no im here for masters. and he was like oh, it doesnt start till eight. in other words, i was over an hour early. so i was pretty irritated with myself and embarassed, especially once kind of cute guy introduced himself to me as my masters coach. way to make a first impression, chloé. anyway, so i said see you in an hour, and now im here in the library. im going to make the photocopies i was going to make AFTER swimming, now that i have all of this extra time, and depending on how long that takes, i might try to get some more research done for one of my many projects. anyway, so that was my WONDERFUL day. i cant wait till next week when all of this is over.

Homeless

well, i have started the preliminaries of looking for a new apartment, and i have acquired a new topic to rant about. what is the deal with not being able to find a place that allows pets. ive only found one online listing that allows dogs, and only a handful that allows cats. i dont understand what people have against animals. my mum said that people dont allow pets because pets are destructive, but i feel that anyone who has this opinion has never had a pet of their own. also, i would say that argument is ridiculous, because you have to put down a security deposit when you sign the lease, and if the landlord feels there is damage from your destructive pet, then he or she can just keep it. i also find it confusing because if you consider the proportion of the population of single people with dogs, and compare it to the number of apartments that allow dogs, you have to wonder where these dog people are living. im hoping to become one of them myself, and i dont see why i should have to buy a HOUSE in order to have a DOG. ridiculous.

Snow Day?

well well well. school is closed today, because the city is covered in ice. i myself nearly fell to my death trying to descend the fire escape stairs, only to discover my bicycle is also covered in ice. so, what am i going to do with this marvellous opportunity? i havent quite decided. im especially pised about this whole thing, because i was supposed to start my advanced yoga class today, as well as my new master's swimming programme, but what can you do. anyway, i think i shall go to the art store and buy a new canvas, and maybe paint for a while. i also have to drop off my pay sheet to the special needs office. before all of that, im going to watch some seinfeld, and somewhere along the line, i hope to start working on my interim paper thing for my group project. i wonder if the libraries are also closed? ah well, if its closed, its closed, ill just stay here. anyway, who knows? sometimes days like this have a way of taking fabulous turns. maybe this will be one of them.

Redemption

so, after a long silence, and a lot of rumours, BATMAN BEGINS came out. it had been rumoured for years that a new batman movie was being made, and i heard rumours that it was either going to be a prequel, or a batman versus superman venture. given that the prequel rumours were more prevalent, and that i cannot concieve of a way to make a versus superhero movie of any sort without enraging fans of some, if not all sorts, i was not surprised to learn that the movie ended up being a prequel. there is not enough space on my blog allowance for me to say everything i have to say about this movie. in fact, i marvel at my own attempt to even address it. so, ill try to keep it short without getting into too much detail. i believe that batman begins is the batman movie written specifically for the batman fans. they did nothing wrong with this movie. it was all there.. the darksome, the angst, the human side of batman (he doesnt have super powers people! hes just smart! and rich! everything isnt all grace and perfection!) the story was engaging, the big names that were in the supporting cast were wonderful, but didnt upstage batman. and christian bale... well... forget about it. on a more personal note, i saw batman begins seven times in theatres... three of those times i was by myself. the first time i saw it, my heart was pounding the whole time. it was so exciting, i couldnt believe it. and then when they through out the "the next movie will be about the joker" bit, i thought i was going to die. good work christopher nolan. you have done right by batman, and his fans. you have redeemed batman on film after so many of us had given up hope. heres to many more!

Batman And Robin

so, after batman forever did good but not great, and succeeding in convincing parents and children everywhere that batman was not too frightening for those under thirteen, the powers that be ventured to make this disgusting flop. the very first moment of the film indicates how low the whole franchise had sunk. instead of the first credit being that of the director, or at the very least, that of the actor playing batman, it is arnold schwartzenegger, who plays the villain, mr freeze. from that moment on, it is one debauchery after another. the mr freeze character is full of silly puns and adam westian humour, the first fight scene with batman and robin versus the goons is also akin to adam west batman antics. the poison ivy villain, played by uma thurman is thoroughly useless, and the introduction of batgirl is awful. not to mention, she is written in as alfred's niece, instead of commissioner gordon's daughter, since the character of commissioner gordon had sunk so low at this point, that you arent even aware of his existence. george clooney was only MARGINALLY better as batman than val kimer was, and there was this whole, bruce wayne having a girlfriend who was pressuring him to get married but he couldnt because he isnt willing to tell women about his whole batman issue, which had absolutely NOTHING to do with the plot (except for reestablishing for the audience that batman was having impure thoughts about poison ivy) and went nowhere. by the end of my recent reviewing of this movie, i almost couldnt finish it because i was dying from the embarassment. i was embarassed for the actors, for the writers, and for myself for sitting through it while i was home alone. this movie is the reason this batman series died. end of story. if you have any doubts about my opinion, watch it, but do yourself a favour and dont.

The Beginning Of The End

so, poor tim burton. he was involved in batman forever as the executive producer, and joel shumacher came in to direct. they had to replace michael keaton with val kimer, a controversial and daring move. i have a feeling michael keaton took one look at the script and said NO, but i dont actually know the reasons why they changed the casting. im sure a little research could enlighten all of us, but whatever. anyway, the new script and the the new plan was in place, and thus begins my review of batman forever.
batman forever is an abhorrent film, and doubly so for what it has done to the batman mythology. the only thing redeeming the film is jim carrey, who nailed the character of the riddler like no body's business. unfortunately, since he was already cast as the riddler in this flop, i doubt they will be able to recast him as such again if the christopher nolan series lasts long enough to entertain the use of the riddler. anyway, they decided to use big names in an effort to draw audiences to an otherwise ridiculous film. in an effort to make the movie more child friendly, they tried to make things more colourful "like a comic book" . this tactic was used very successfully in dick tracey, and it has its merits, except it is the darksome that is central to the batman mythology. anyway, the plot is thin, and not really what is at issue here. val kimer was a lousy batman. physically, he is an inappropriate choice. he is too thin, too blonde, and too blue eyed. the same argument holds i suppose for michael keaton, but keaton was able to hold it together because of his presence and what he brought to the role. he was quiet and calm, mysterious and serious, and was able to instill fear and respect. val kimer ACTED quiet and calm and mysterious and serious, but he just didnt have what it took. he didnt have the presence or the power that michael keaton did, the audience just cant buy the batman that kimer was selling.
next point: the gratuitous ass shots in the idiotic filler of watching batman getting dressed. this makes a mockery of the whole batman story. it was just an attempt to make the movie more fun. dont get me wrong, i love fun movies, but fun movies are actually supposed to be fun, and this movie was trying to be a fun version of a serious movie, which are two things you cannot reconcile together. they attempted to make adam west like jokes and fun with the piece, while simultaneously pursuing the serious and angst ridden tale of batman. you cannot do both. you are either satirizing a piece or you are not. you cant satirize something at times and not at others. there is a reason the michael keaton batman movie doesnt have scenes of the adam west batman movie spliced into it. the two films are setting out to accomplish two different things. and batman forever accomplishes neither. instead, it left a fluffy, incongruous batman tale that was supposed to be kid friendly but was just idiotic. introducing robin into the story didnt help either, it took away from the seriousness. the sets and props werent believeable either. the whole thing was like watching a cartoon. actually, scratch that, for many cartoons and for all good cartoons, you can suspend your disbelief enough to believe what is going on. in this movie, you cannot.

Prelude To A Review

alright. alright. alright. since courtland bought me the box set of the batman movie anthology, i have been steadily working my way through all of them. as most people living in north america are aware, the last two batman movies of this strain, batman forever and batman and robin, were terrible. i feel it is time for me to do some long over due movie reviews of these cinematic embarassments, but first of all, i feel that it is necessary to provide the readers with some background information. much of this information is going to be steeped in the opinions of a lifetime batman fanatic, but let me say that all of the things i am trying to present as fact i cannot source. i read them in things like the paper or magazines and such during the production, promotion, and release times of these movies, and that was quite a while ago. anyway, after i provide you with this information, i will then move to post my reviews seperately, in the spirit of being organized, and to save you, dear reader, from a ridiculously long post.
so, here we go. in the beginning, there was tim burton. and tim burton was with batman, and batman was with him. ok, so thats not exactly how this story goes. in the beginning, there was tim burton, who was the appropriate choice for directing the original batman movie (or perhaps making the movie was his own idea and he pitched it to warner brothers, i dont rightly know), since he was and still is the hollywood poster child for eccentric and darksome directing. this is the kind of director who would bring the right kind of creativity to the set of batman. he was able to capture the dark and serious nature of the batman mythology, while still maintaining a surreal, yet believable, comic book feel. tim burton knew what he was doing, and i doubt there is a batman fan around who was disappointed with his work. that said, the movie was also exceedingly well cast. i have heard people say that they cannot and even do not want to envision the joker as anyone other than jack nicholson. (i myself am not of that opinion. jack is the man but the joker is too, and there are endless tantalizing possibilities for actors to bring something new and different to the part). anyway, so the original batman movie was well recieved. what do we do when movies about comic books are well recieved? we make another! of course! there isnt a fan alive who has a problem with that. but, we, as fans, do worry that the next movie wont be as good as the first. not to worry, batman returns was even darker than the first. i remember i was eight when the movie came out, and i was too terrified to watch it on video. the penguin biting the nose thing. as an adult, i can say that tim burton didnt let anyone down with batman returns. relatively true to the mythology, consistent with the first movie, and just the right amount of that tim burton flavah that made the first movie everyones favourite. BUT here is where the trouble begins. i wasnt the only eight year old who was in love with batman but squirming and covering my eyes and not being able to watch the movie in its entirety. no, dear readers, the very thing that made batman returns as great as it is was also the undoing of tim burtons beautiful monopoly on the batman movie niche. it was too scary. children were running, hiding, crying. they were afraid of the movie, and they were afraid of their hero, batman. (not this child, by the way. it was the PENGUIN i was afraid of.. and im willing to bet christopher walken freaked me out. but i never lost faith in batman dont you worry). anyway, upon the final crunching of numbers after the release of batman returns, the bigwigs up in hollywood realised that they had taken a serious demographic hit and lost a huge chunk of their child audience. not to mention mum and dad who would be taking jimmy and all his little batman wannabe buddies to the matinée. so, the bigwigs said "tim burton! your movie was too scary! we cant have you directing like this! not only that, we want you to make a NEW batman movie that gets these children back! make it more kid friendly! no scary stuff! use mcdonalds to help you promote it! children love mcdonalds, and we love money!"
now, here is where i start speculating. i would like to think that tim burton said something like, "hollywood bigwigs, i realise that we have lost our child demographic because my movie is too scary. and i realise that has cost you some money. but the batman books arent intended for children, so i never tailored my movies to children. and there is a group of real batman fans, people who read the books and know the mythology, who were very happy with my movie"
and then hollywood bigwigs said something like "we dont care! that group of obsessive freaks can go rot. its children who make movie money. not only in the box office but the toys! the products! now, get out of here and go make a kid friendly movie. why not try something like adam west did? kids love his batman show"
and then i would liek to think tim burton said "but adam west's show is explicitly a satire. kids like it, but most of them dont get that. you want me to make a movie satirizing batman that follows from batman returns? thats idiotic"
and then tehy said "no of course not. we just mean use teh same kind of fun TONE for the movie. now, off with you."
and tim burton sighed, and shook his head, and realised he would have to get another director to do this movie, and thus the wheels were in motion for the complete and utter degradation of what was shaping up to be one of the greatest series of comic book movies ever made.

Blast From The Past

since this year i have been reusing old notebooks instead of buying new ones, i occaisionally happen upon old notes that i once passed to friends, old drawings i was proud of, and in some cases, old bits of writing that i forgot about. this very thing happened today. as i was looking for an appropriate place to begin my notes for histology, i found a poem i wrote. im not sure when i wrote it, but based on the fact that this was originally my second year ecology book, im going to guess it was written sometime in second year. anyway, since i have no idea what i was thinking about at the time, i no longer find this poem too personal to share. the only thing i remember about writing it was that one of the phrases occured to me and i wrote the poem subsequently around it. this is often how my poems are born. and the only reason i remember this little fact is because the phrase is written at the top of the page before the rest of the poem alongside a doodle of an elephant face. so without further ado, here it is:
Build this House (NOTE: this title was created today. the poem is not titled in my book)
watching the sun setting over the cold dead ground
the emptiness is filling and though the sun is bright its warmth doesnt seem to reach this place
this place inside of me thats full of unreceptive cold
but i know that in the darkness theres a love that tries to give
tries to seep in and make me warm
so why dont we sit here
while they build this house around us
and soon there will be shelter from the storm
and if we let love touch us, the darkness will dissipate into prisms of light
and we'll have this house
and we'll call it home

Candace Bergen Wears The Pants

well, upon my return to steeltown, owen has provided the house with the complete (bootlegged) first season of boston legal. my uncle and aunt have been raving about this show since it started but also told me i should watch it from the beginning. so, behold, behold, i now have to opportunity to do so. and i have. the show is excellent, and i look forward to watching the other seasons i have missed, but that is not nearly the point of this post. what i really want to talk about is the candace bergen character. candace bergen plays one of the senior partners in the show named shirley schmidt, and she is one of the most fabulous female characters i have seen on television in recent memory. she is by far the best lawyer on the show, she wears pants most of the time but still dresses stylishly, quite different from all of the younger lawyer sluts on teh show. she is powerful and potent. strongwilled and feminine. she is in complete control of every situation and she is strong enough to deal with any and all unwelcome sexual comments or advances in a powerful and no nonsense manner. yes, schmidt is a character that doesnt screw around, and this is one character that girls can look up to. go boston legal.

Muse

i sit and paint my self portrait
and listen to ani difranco paint my self portrait with her words
and i wonder how she can speak the words written in my head
and i realise though were different
were all the same
its the muse that makes us that way
it is heartsick
it is pain
it is love
and it is shame
and there are so many muses that colour the paintings we make
and there are so many people who are really the same
and there will always be a person
with a name
and a face
there will always be a muse
to take the blame
for all of the writings and paintings and songs that we sing

Friday Night

i am walking from the bus stop to the liquor store in the sketchbag part of town, cursing myself for being in this predicament, since i am dressed to the nines, tits and legs on proud display, possibly attracting unwanted attention. not to mention i am wearing shoes that have never fit me very well and my feet already hurt. experience tells me i have time for a cigarette on this walk, and especially this time, considering how slowly i am walking. my hairdo has already come undone and i havent even been to the party yet. sighing, i realise i am going to have to take a cab from the store to the party. after exiting the liquor store, heavy bag ready to be used as a weapon if necessary, i hobble to the nearest payphone to call a cab. while i wait, i end up having to redo my hair twice, finally getting it to stay put. i hope it looks nice. later people will tell me it does, but since i have no mirror at the moment, i can only hope. the cab arrives and the cabby is chatty, much better than the cabby i will tolerate several hours later on the way home. the party is lots of fun, although i am at least 15 years younger than everyone there, i am at least wearing the sexiest outfit. full of red wine and high spirits, i leave for niks show. the band comes on very late and i fall asleep several times waiting for them. in a fit of bad social skills i beeline to the door after, stopping only to use niks phone to call yet another cab. after a hellish ride with the aforementioned lousy cabby, i trundle up to bed, navigating my way across the sea of laundry and garbage on my bedroom floor. necklace gets put away, dress hung up on the scratching post, and at last, i rest.

When Days Are Hot, When Days Are Cool

so, here i am in kitchener, visiting my aunt and uncle. in order to keep up with my swimming over the holidays, i got my coach to write down a couple of workouts for me to do. anyway, i was pretty excited about having the opportunity to come here and swim at the waterloo swimplex. when i was a kid and we would come visit here, we used to go to the swimplex. since i have always been a keen swimmer, i relished the chance to go to the swimplex. in my mind, the swimplex was the greatest swimming facility ever built. it seemed so cavernous and huge, with its two level high dive, double regular diving boards, whirlpool, full size waterslide, mushroom, and fountain in the shallow end. i thought my cousins were so lucky to have such a beautiful pool at their disposal, and i looked forward to swimming there more than any other aspect of my visits. so, when i decided that that is where i would be swimming this week, i was pretty excited to come back to my most favourite pool. turns out though, that ten years is a long time for growing up, and the pool isnt as amazing as it seemed so long ago. yes, it is still a fantastic facility, but there are little things about it that make me realise it was my childs perspective that made the place seem so surreal. for starters, being bigger than i once was, the pool is not nearly as gigantic as i remembered. the lockers are the same system as they were ten years ago, wherein you put a quarter in and you have to keep track of your key for the rest of the day and then when you unlock it you get your quarter back. this kind of technology impressed and mystified me as a child, but now, its cumbersome and irritating to have to keep track of a key. when the shallow lanes are open, the deep end lanes are only 20m long instead of 25, which means i lost 20m off each 100 while i was working out. i was able to readjust my lengths for some of the drills to compensate for this, but it made doing 50s and 75s impossible. also, since its only 20m, the number of turns is increased and the amount of time doing a length is decreased, which is dizzying. other than that, i still had fun and it was still a nice pool, but it has gone from being my childhood wet dream (hahaha pardon the pun) to just another pool. i wonder how many other things i am going to find disappointing when compared to my childhood ideals. i guess this is the lousy side of growing up.

This and That

i never work as hard as i could, and i never study as hard as i should. i dont know what this means. i wanted to quote waiterrant on here about something, but i dont feel like searching for the quote. speaking of waiterrant, i have finally finished reading the whole entire thing. crazy and beautiful, i say. also, i have found, through waiterrant, a fake newspaper about restaurants written in the same style as theonion.com, called dont tip the waiter. www.donttipthewaiter.com. worth checking out id say. not as funny or endearing as waiterrant, but worth the read nonetheless. in other news, after having a huge argument with kyle over the moral implications surrounding the existence of veggie ham, i put veggie ham in the toaster and ate it on crackers with goat cheddar. it was delicious, but my crackers were a little stale. also, i am the proud creator of the best cheesecake i have ever had. ever. go me. that makes the list of things i make the best ive ever had include: key lime pie, cheesecake, vegetarian lasagna, honey dijon potatoes, tea biscuits, and blondies. my bread would also be a close second to my dads. not surprising since hes the one who taught me to make bread. anyway, so i should probably get back to half assing my way through russian. ps. you should all go see the fountain. very artsy and thought provoking. do it.

Let It Snow

c'est arrivée. in an unusual fit of hamilton weather, the snow is finally here, and i am extremely happy. so, to celebrate, i have decided to blog after rounding off two triple screwdrivers while i attempt to conjugate russian verbs. anyway, this arrival of early hamilton snow has gotten me thinking about why it makes me so happy. most of my friends attribute it to my being from "up north" and being used to it, but i have decided thats not the whole picture. yes, i love the snow because im from "up north" but not for the reasons my friends think. being from collingwood makes you love the snow, because snow is the blood running through the veins of the collingwood economy. late snow means no work, which means no money, which means a struggling and unhappy town. growing up in a town that is so intimately connected to snow forces you to love it, even if you hate the cold. so, even though some of us may not be the biggest fans of the cold, we grew up needing snow, depending on it, believing in it, and it is for that reason, that no matter how much you detest the temperature, being from collingwood is almost entirely synonymous with loving snow. so, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Go To Medical School, Become A Baker

i sometimes wish i was a baker. that, instead of being immensly in debt towards a science degree, i had taken out a loan and bought a bakery. and i would get up at five in the morning to have the bread in the oven, and while the dough was proofing, i would be mixing cookies, icing cakes, and filling pies. and i would have the hum of the convection ovens and my crazy alterna-rock to keep me company. and maybe i would hire some teenagers to work for me in the summer, and my brother and sister. dana would help me in the back and callie could work the front, selling the pastries with her good looks. and i would have a hand in all of teh celebrations in town, weddings, birthdays, graduations, whatever. and people would come back for my key lime pie and i would say the secret ingredient is love, when the secret ingredient is really condensed milk. and i would wear whites to match the white of the trade: white kitchen, white flour, white sugar, white eggs, white cream, white butter, white icing. and i would be known for the light dusting of flour that was ever present on my arms and face, dusting me like so many loaves of bread or cookies. and i would put every ounce of care i have into my pastries, my cookies, my cakes, my apple turn overs, my cobblers and pies. and i would take all of the things i have learned about baking from my parents, and everything i have taught myself and create original desserts, that people would like, but not as much as my key lime pie. i would be quiet, and let the work speak for itself, and i would be happy. i would make vegan desserts, too, and i would be known for the quality of my food. i would make any requests people wanted, in any volume. i sometimes wish i was a baker.

Thinking About Vacations Past and Vacations Yet to Come

See America Right
By The Mountain Goats
i was driving up from tampa
when the radiator burst
i was three sheets from the wind
of the billionth song the first
and then there was the cop
and then the children standing on the corner
your love is like a cyclone in a swamp and the weather's getting warmer
i was getting out of jail
headed to the greyhound
you said youd hop on one yourself and meet me on the way down
i was shaking way too hard to think
dead on my feet about to drop
when i got the case of vodka from the car
and walked the two miles to the bus stop
got on the bus half drunk again
the driver glared at me
met up with you in inglis
booked a ride to cedar key
if we never make it back to california i want you to know i love you
but my love is like a dark cloud full of rain thats always right there up above you

DNyAy

well, here i sit, studying for nucleus and having to skip swimming for it, when i learned that tulips have ten times more DNA than humans. the scientists hold facts like this as evidence supporting the notion that much of DNA is non-coding (on other words, meaningless) because tulips are much lower organisms than humans. but i propose THIS. what if tulips are actually intelligent? they have 10 times the DNA, whats to stop them from uprooting themselves one of these days and taking over entirely? nothing. so watch out, everyone. keep your eye on those tulips. they multiply like mad, and they are coming after us.

BOH

well, i have been disturbingly addicted to this blog i happened upon called WAITER RANT. it is FABULOUS. i advise you all to check it out at www.waiterrant.net. anyway, waiter rant has also led me to a few other posts on other blogs about serving and so on, and i find these thing addicting, because as much as there is animosity between cooks and servers,we are all restaurant folk, and its fun to read about and its nice to see people letting the public into the realities of the business. however, there is a reason they keep us guys in teh back, the public is more interested in servers, because those are the people they relate to when they are out dining. also, we are a vulgar, eccentric group of people and we like being the guys behind the scenes. its where we belong, but we are underrepresented in any public forum on restaurants, whether it be a movie like waiting, a blog like waiterrant, or a book. so without further ado, allow this small she cook to outline for you: BACK OF HOUSE- A GLIMPSE INTO WHERE THE REAL MAGIC HAPPENS (AKA THE THUNDERDOME, BITCH)

THE CHEF
in restaurants much better than the one i work at, there is usually a chef. some places, like the one i work at have a kitchen manager instead, details on him to follow. the chef is usually a man who has been cooking his whole life. half of the kitchen is trying to become this man, and half of the kitchen is trying NOT to become this man. the half trying NOT to become the man are the ones who probably will. the chef is usually an alcoholic because he is passionate about the art of cooking but now his life is steeped in pointless bureaucracy, meetings, and petty disputes. he gets to plan all of the menus and execute their creation, but he also has to do a lot of other work that is very boring and disillusioning. he also probably makes a fraction of the money his friends from high school are now making, and his wife just left him six months ago because hes at his stupid thankless job 100 hours a week. all of this angst has caused him to become a complete arrogant prick who needs servers to stroke his ego 24 - 7 while his cooks avoid him, begrudgingnly learning quite a lot from him despite themselves.

THE SOUS CHEF
the sous chef holds the kitchen together so the chef has time for all of his fun work involving paperwork and inventory. the sous chef is usually bitter at having to deal with his incompetent underlings, but is likeable nonetheless. usually a good guy to have on your side, but dont piss him off, the chef listens to him and NO ONE ELSE. the sous chef still has plans of somehow becoming a chef without becoming an alcoholic, but he knows deep down thats impossible.

LINE COOKS
there are several subdivisions of line cooks, but we can make some preliminary generalisations. line cooks tend to define their personalities at work by the music that they listen to. this sets the tone in teh kitchen for the rest of the day. line cooks generally spend their whole day busting their asses, but they still find time to make inappropriate comments to servers, bitch about their jobs, and cuss non stop. there is no such thing as a pleasant customer to a line cook. it doesnt matter WHAT you order, they don't to make it, and they ESPECIALLY dont want to make it for staff. stress is this kind of cook's business, and business is good.
-> THE DAY CREW: line cooks on the day crew tend to be the lazy pot head types. they work the slowest shifts with the easiest to please customers. the chef or kitchen manager just keeps them around becuase his best cooks work weekends and they dont want weekday day shifts, and he has to keep the best cooks happy, especially since theyre line cooks and they hate everything anyway.
-> THE NIGHT CREW: nights are always busier than days, so you get a better caliber of cook on these nights. often students, the night crew cannot party much during the week, since they work teh night shift, but when they get the chance, they party much harder than the day crew to make up for lost time.
-> THE WEEKEND CREW: these shifts are reserved for the strongest cooks. without fail, these cooks are also the angriest, crudest, and most endearing cooks. they have very strong loyalty to each other from working together under stress for so long and they take no guff from any server. most of them are steadfast smokers, whose entire work experience is just a whole lot of "x number of minutes until my next cigarette"
-> THE BREAKFAST CREW: it has always been my experience that no matter where you work, it takes a certain kind of crazy to cook breakfast. whether it be at a resort where the breakfast crew rolls in before 5 am to get pastries in the oven, or at a pub where you sling 300 plates of greasy eggs in an inappropriately equipped kitchen for six hours, breakfast cooks are the kooks of teh kitchen

PREP COOKS
prep cooks are a lot slower than any line cook, because they are not under any sort of pressure for time. in kitchens with more than one prep cook, they tend to band together since the line cooks are too busy running around and swearing to have a conversation with anyone who is not a line cook. in some kitchens, prep cooks are completely isolated from line cooks, making their kitchen experience entirely other.

DISHLICKERS
these BOH representatives tend to be high school kids who need to make some easy money on teh weekends, or very old men with low IQs. other than dishes, they get given plenty of bitchwork, and are constantly reminded that they are expendable. a few of these kids will climb the kitchen ladder, and dont realise that bitchwork now means real kitchen jobs in teh future. they are often completely useless with tonnes of attitude, but every now and again you meet one with a sense of humour.

SHECOOKS
she cooks can be in any of the above categories, but i think they deserve a mention here as well.
-> THE FEMININE SHE COOK: this she cook is still trying to retain her feminity because it either has not dawned on her yet that this is a mans trade in a mans world, or she knows that but doesnt care. very few she cooks like this last very long.
-> THE "I AM A BOY" SHE COOK: this she cook has been working it kitchens so long that her boyishness has spread into every aspect of her life. or perhaps her boyishness is what drew her to cooking in teh first place. she forgets shes a girl, her coworkers forget shes a girl, and new servers think shes a dyke. she holds her own among the boys and throws out as much sexism and mouthing off as everyone else
-> THE RAGING MAN HATER SHE COOK: this she cook hes been mistreated by men both in and out of work and feels she has something to prove. she is not one of the boys, she is more of a feminist. an extreme feminist. she thinks anything the boys can do, she can do better, and will not tolerate any of the behaviours that make cooks so endearing. this she cook is hated by all, and either changes her attitude or finds a new job.

SO there you have it folks, my 2 cents on what i do. hope you liked it, now im going to get back to my stupid nucleus paper.

Letters

Dear global village marketplace: thank you for being there, with your delicious, affordable vegetarian sandwiches. thank you for having more vegetarian options than meat options, one of the few places where our people are the majority. thank you for delicious, organic, free trade herbed goat cheese. thank you for your strange owner who always seems like shes talking to someone else when shes actually talking to you.

Dear swimming: im sorry i sucked so much ass tonite. i have not been on the ball lately, but im going to bring it back, i promise.

Dear wolf parade: you rock so hard. how did i exist without you in my life. apologies to the queen mary is one of the most moving albums i own i think. please record more albums.

Dear nucleus paper: you suck and i hate you i wish you were a live so i could kill you. instead you are killing me.


Love, Chloé

My Stalker

my stalker is heartless and completely insensitive. he watches me as i sit at my desk and mocks me. he makes fun of me when i forget when my period is due. he asks me questions i dont want to answer, like, "what are you doing with yourself?" "why havent you started your nucleus paper, its due in two weeks?" "how are you going to get by after you graduate?" "why havent you scheduled your grad photos yet? or paid the bills? or called your uncle?" he always makes me feel bad about myself, and never goes away. i try to ignore him, but he is relentless, always there, over my left shoulder, looming like some sort of hideous gargoyle. he is ominous and forbodes so much. i only keep him around because sometimes he reminds me of good things, like Christmas break, and nikolai's next show, or my sister's birthday..... i wish i could escape him though... the relentless pursuit of me, by the days that pass on my calendar

Someday

i have no love story to tell. no tale of eyes meeting across a crowded room. no whispered sweet nothings and talk of forever. no words to fill an eternity, no silences to fill a soul. no story of bubbling insatiable passion, of restlessness, of excitement and fear. no wide eyed starry nights of euphoria and self centredness. no first kisses, or hundreth kisses that still feel like first kisses. no words for always. no talk of destiny. i have no love story to tell.

Out Of The Loop

apparently. after a long hiatus from my already half-assed music endeavours (the half assedness particularly refers to the guitar in general and in this case), i decided i wanted to get some tabs for some decembrists songs.... eli the barrowboy in particular and possibly, we both go down together. anyway, its irrelevant WHAT songs i was looking for, what is important is the fact that apparently i am out of the loop because theres been some sort of controversy as to whether posting guitar tabs online is legal or not. what is the deal with that? i mean arguments against stealing MP3s, i totally understand, but putting the chords up? what is wrong with that? its not illegal to play someone else's music... its not like you could pass it off as your own... and its not like youre taking something physically from the band and making money off it, i dunno. i dont know the details on this business, but apparently i cannot get tabs at this juncture. however, nikolai was SHOCKED at the fact that i dont learn music by ear, a skill i was never very keen on developing... perhaps the time is now. i dont know very many guitar chords though.... ive thought of two approaches for attempting to learn these songs by ear.... 1) i could figure out the melody on teh guitar to figure out what key its in and then fit the appropriate chords to it.... 2) i could figure out the chords on teh piano and then learn them on guitar.... either way, i find myself wondering just HOW MUCH i want to learn these songs. lazy, i know. i think my real problem is that i have this huge upwelling of creativity and inspiration right now, and since im still waiting to recieve my paints, im jsut trying to get it out. hmmmmmmmmmmmm

Food For Thought

Hug o' War By Shel Silverstein

I will not play at tug o' war

I'd rather play at hug o; war

Where everyone hugs

Instead of tugs,

Where everyone giggles

And rolls on the rug,

Where everyone kisses,

And everyone grins,

And everyone cuddles

And everyone wins

A Birthday Story

There once was a boy named Amit. amit enjoyed things like animé, asian chicks, and techno music. there was also a girl named chloé. chloé enjoyed things like dancing, swimming, and tea. chloé and amit were brought together one fateful day by a shared interest in botany. after spending a semester working at the same lab bench, chloé and amit persued a friendship, which unearthed all of the fabulous things they had in common, such as their love of movies, bread, cartoons, and dining out. they also learned about all of the ways in which they differ, which makes them compatible friends indeed. anyway, as time went on, the two chums discovered that their birthdays were only ONE DAY APART! which was almost as exciting as discovering they were born on the same day. so, last night, the two friends enjoyed their second annual celebration of their shared birthday. they went to gate of india for dinner, which went very smoothly, compared to the usual sort of thing that happens when they go out. then they proceeded to pepperjack café for open mike night, where they played pool and ran into a certain band that chloé follows around (although this run-in was accidental) and generally had a fabulous time. so happy birthday, amit! may you live to forget this night.

A Legend An English Teacher Once Told Me

the white knight went on a quest. he wanted to destroy the black knight. the white knight lived by the following rules: a white knight doesnt steal, a white knight doesnt kill the innocent, a white knight doesn't take advantage of the less fortunate, a white knight doesn't make false promises, a white knight does not kill the innocent, a white knight doesn't incur debt, a white knight doesn't break the hearts of women. the black knight had broken all of these rules, and so the white knight wanted to defeat him in order to uphold virtue for all. on his journey, the white knight stopped at an inn. the innkeeper had a beautiful daughter, who served the knight his ale. by the end of the night, the daughter had fallen in love with the knight, and she allowed him to lie with her till the morning. in the morning, the knight said, "my darling, i must go, for i am on a quest to uphold virtue. i shall return for you when my journey is over." the innkeeper's daughter could think of nothing to say, but she cried when he left. he left before teh innkeeper was awake, and so was unable to pay his tab. he thought, this innkeeper will not mind my debt, since it was incurred in order to uphold virtue. many days passed on his journey, and the knight was getting weak with hunger. he saw a camp where some poor vagrants were sleeping, and there was a loaf of bread among their posessions. the knight took the bread while they slept. he had no money to leave them, but he thought, this is not stealing, because i am taking this bread so i can continue my quest, so it is necessary to uphold virtue. later on his way, he spied a beast on the side of the road. he assumed the beast would attack his horse, so he shot it with his bow. when he went to retrieve the body, he saw that the creature was not a beast, but an old hag, who had been by the road, begging. he thought, when i shot this hag, i thought she was a beast who would have attacked me, she was killed in order to uphold virtue. finally, the knight approached the summit where he knew the black knight lived. as he came to the top of the hill, he spied another white knight approaching from the other direction. as the first knight lifted his arm to greet the approaching knight, he was struck down by the approaching knight's arrow. when the approaching knight was closer, the first knight said, "my friend! why would you strike down another white knight? are you not on the same quest as i? to destroy the black knight in order to uphold virtue? now my quest will have been in vain" and the other knight said "how can you call me your friend, when you are the very knight i have been questing after to defeat!" and with that, the first knight looked down, and with his dying breath he saw, that over the course of his journey, his shining white armour had rusted and turned to darkest black.

Another Day In Paradise

the light from the refrigerator illuminates groceries i forgot i had. on this early monday morning, i feel like a stranger in my apartment, or maybe like i just got back after an extended absence. this is what my weekend has become: blurry little whirlwinds in my life where this apartment with its mess and my groceries and bad carpets doesnt really seem to exist at all. and then on monday mornings i return from yoga and say hello to my real life, and spend the day readjusting to this place, this life of mine. but for a few minutes, in the quiet as i wait for my water to boil, i feel like i am walking around in a stranger's life, looking at someone else's mess, someone else's groceries, someone else's bad carpets. and i get to be a voyeur of myself, observing my things and the remnants of my behaviour, and i ask myself questions about this person, try to understand what she is like. and then i sit in the silence and drink my tea, and smoke my cigarette, and stare into space and my regular soul finds its way back into me, and i am myself, for another crazy week, before the ghosts of the weekend come to reclaim me again

Disjointed

i drew a picture of a waterfall this week. and i wrote on it, "o, that i could live behind a waterfall. the only calm place in this chaotic space. and all is made silent and drowned in the din, and divinity and peace are all thats left to fill the space youre in" or words to that effect...
i also drew a picture of a lizard today, it was the lizard that the students keep as a pet at the alternative school. the drawing was called pebbles, because apparently thats his name. i learned later that there is some debate as to what the lizards name actually is. i was happy with how the drawing turned out though...
i saw the godfather for the first time today. it was fantastic. i cant wait to watch the rest of them. captivating, really...
theres a plate in the kitchen covered with old tomato sauce that has turned into mould...i with one of the guys would take out the garbage so i can deal with teh mould plate. i guess i could take out the garbage, but i dont really want to...
i cant decide if i like my wednesday yoga class as much as my tuesday/thursday class. its kind of different, harder in a way, i guess thats a good thing, good to work hard, but im tired of working my quads...
the lesban barista gave me half a little cake thing today, that was nice, although i dont understand why shes always giving me stuff....
natural disasters midterm on friday...should probably start studying...
goodbye

Faceless

"what kind of brazilian girl would you be?" seems like a good place to start off a recap of my fabulous evening last nite. "a sexy one" was the answer to this question, posed to me by nikolai at the small but distinguished pepperjack cafe, as we smoked in the rain waiting for the band called the brazilian girls to come on. we were flanked by jordan and amanda, snooty fox associates. so after our cigarettes, we went back inside to get more drinks, and then i headed up to the can, where i bumped into a girl on her way out. after the usual "oh sorry, excuse me" crap, i went to the can and then headed back downstairs to my friends and drinks, and the band was finally coming on, half an hour late..... and who should the lead singer be? none other than the very girl i had just bumped into! crazy! anyway, the lead singer of the brazilian girls wears all of her hair over her face, so you cannot see her face at all, except for one cheekbone, which, we decided later, is a very nice cheekbone indeed. this is her thing, she does it on stage and in photos, so noone actually knows what she looks like. but let me tell you, i didnt realise that a woman without a face could be sooo sexy. and she was so cool. and the band was great. we had so much fun dancing away, ive never danced with jordan before, but he was great, and he looked so cool in his old mans hat. nikolai was dancing with his hands in his pockets, and since we didnt have a lot of space, he was dancing very differently from usual, but i liked it a lot. i had my hippy hips shakin away, and nik can never make fun of my shoulder dancing again, because he was on shoulder patrol last nite. his shoulders were on fire. anyway, the band was great, nikolai bought the cd, and im looking forward to listening to it at work on saturday. after it was over, nik was like "im going to go have sex with the lead singer" which i thought was a hilarious thing to say, and i followed it up with "thats going to fail" and he was like, "yeahi know". he couldnt even find her to engage in said sexual encounter, so i won, considering i saw her in teh can which is way closer to having sex with her than not seeing her at all. we headed back to snooty for last call and spent the rest of the night playing darts (well, i watched) and telling our coworkers how sexy this woman was, and how great the music was. we also made the bartender put the brazilian girls cd on in teh bar. good times had by all, totally worth it, im glad i went. and im glad jordan and amanda came, it was lots of fun.

Yog?

so on friday night, i went shopping with sabrina and her parents. why? because they have a car, and i needed to go to places that are long bus rides and very long, uphill bike rides. places that they were going to anyway. places like walmart. so, i had lots of fun pushing the cart for sabrina's mum, who needed to go to way more sections of the store than i did, which of course resulted in a few impulse purchases on my part. one of which was this generic cereal called "YogActive". how could i resist a product that has yog in the title? i couldnt. also, it passed my ever-scrupulous ingredients check, albeit by a small margin. however, as i was assessing this cereal, i realised it was generic, and was most likely a knock off of some other brand name cereal, but i couldnt quite put my finger on it. but today, when i finally opened the box, it dawned on me... it is a knockoff of the new special K cereals, such as special K with strawberry, or vanilla special K with banana. YogActive comes in three flavours, strawberry, banana, and kiwi. i settled on the strawberry because strawberries are superior to blueberries, and i find that freeze dried kiwi is often sour. so anyway, YogActive has flakes, fruits, and "15% probiotic yoghurt pearls" which im going to assume means that the entire make up of the cereal by mass is 15% yoghurt pearls, not that the yoghurt pearls are 15% milk fat. anyway, so now that you have the backup story, allow me to give a review of this cereal. in obvious mimicry of special K (and so many other cereals like it) YogActive is trying to make itself seem super healthy to all of those would be skinny people by boasting low levels of satuarted fats, and having pictures of thin women in workout clothes eating it on the box. also, the use of the word "probiotic" is a definite attempt to grab all the wannabe health nuts out there with some meaningless, made up scientific jargon. this sort of thing really pisses me off. for a few reasons. first of all, it will never stop irritating me how the only association most people make with health is being thin. yes its true that excess fat is unhealthy, but there are a million other things that are unhealthy, and there are at least a million skinny people who engage in these unhealthy activities. low fat does not mean healthy. healthy foods are low in saturated and trans fats, refined sugars, preservatives, and bleached grains. healthy foods are also HIGH in fibre, WHOLE grain (which is NOT the same as multi grain!), omega 3 and 6 fatty acids, minerals, vitamins, and are generally less processed, hence the advent of movements such as the raw food phenomenon. anyway, so this whole thing with people trying to think that theyre so granola when they eat crap as far as im concerned bugs me. alot. but i guess i should be positive and remember that its good that peopla are TRYING to eat healthy, and they just need to educate themselves better. i guess i just feel like a lot of these people put themselves on the same level as eaters like myself, and im like, no, you are a poser. also, dont even get me started on the fact that i bought it at walmart, i was only there because knitting stuff is almost impossible to find in hamilton. anyway, so thats the negative side to the YogActive cereal. the positive side is that, although there is a little more refined sugar in it than i usually eat, and i dont usually eat processed yoghurt, and it isnt made with whole grains, it is, more or less, not too bad for you, and its a solid snack for the student/swimmer/cyclist/yoga student in you. the strawberries are delicious, just like the special K, and the yoghurt pearls are retty good too. theyre a little on the sweet side for me, and they sink to the bottom of the dish, which makes the last few bites a bit much for me, but on the whole, a good snack. i still like Good For You, the swedish muesli better, but its a nice treat. this has been your chloé consumer report, thank you for listening.

Giving Thanks

well, this weekend i was so busy being bitter and drunk that i realised i didnt take any time to reflect on the things in my life that im thankful for, which is what this weekend is suppsoed to be all about. so, heres the short list. i am so thankful for my wonderful family and friends. all of you fill me with so much joy, inspiration, and love. i am so lucky to have so many people who care for me and to have so many people to care about. next, i am thankful to have the opportunity to be here in hamilton, going to university, and for all of the things that being here has brought into my life, including my jobs, my volunteer work, my cat, and so on and so forth. i am thankful for my health and my mind. i am thankful for all of the music that inspires me and breathes life into me when i am weary. i am thankful to God for all of these things, and for my salvation through Christ. I am thankful for my strength, passion, and determination. Glory be to God for all of these blessings.

Hello Again

my good and noble comrades. it has been far far too long. after a rather tumultous summer, i am back in the game, embracing my last year of my undergrad degree for all it is worth. my future is uncertain, and i am scared at times, but i know there are things in my life that are certain, the things that matter. i know there are people who love me, and people that i love and i am trying to cherish all of the moments that fill me with joy so that when i launch myself into the "so now what" days, i will have them to hold on to. my universe is so harmonized right now, and i am so thankful for that. so thank you, to all of you, all of you artists and poets and beloved friends of mine, who were there through the thick, who inspire me with your beauty, and who keep me honest. i love you all. extra love goes out to jill, clancy, owen, shayla, amit, and of course, my darling nikolai. its been one hell of a ride. L'CHIAM!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Nice To Have Others To Speak For Me

Bliss Like This: By Ani Difranco

i said venice

you heard vegas

now i say either way

baby lets go

i get so shaky

and i just cant shake it

i bliss like this

im one of those

bit i dont wanna wear you

wear you like a band aid

wave you like a ticket

out of my good grief

i just wanna know you

know you like i know my garden

what you smell like when youre bloomin

what lives underneath

deep down underneath

way down underneath

we do a whole lotta laughin

at the shyness that surrounds us

i do a whole lotta looking

somewhere else

i dont need to look

no, i can just feel you

besides everytime i see you

it just forces me to look at myself

cuz i get so shaky

and i just cant shake it

i bliss like this

im one of those

and i said venice

and you heard vegas

but now i say either way

lets go

cmon baby lets go

Miss You, Nikolai

RAINING IN BALTIMORE: By The Counting Crows

The circus is falling down on its knees

Big top is crumbling down

Its raining in Baltimore, fifty miles east

Where you should be, noones around

I need a phone call

I need a rain coat

I need a big love

I need a phone call

These train conversations are passing me by

And I dont have nothing to say

You get what you pay for

But I just had no intention of living this way

I need a phone call

I need a plane ride

I need a sun burn

I need a rain coat

And I get no answers, and I dont get no change

Its raining in Baltimore baby, but everything else is the same

Thers things I'll remember, and things I'll forget

I miss you, I guess that I should

Three thousand, five hundred miles away, but what would you change if you could?

I need a phone call

Maybe I should buy a new car

I can always hear a freight traing baby if I listen real hard

And I wish it was a small world

Cause I'm lonely for teh big towns

I'd like to hear a little guitar

I guess its time to put the top down

I need a phone call

I need a rain coat

I really need a rain coat

Anticipation

my days are spent in alternating immersion of fire and water. the fire fuels my anger and my sadness. my anger is shaped like a man. my sadness is shaped like two men. the water cleanses me, that ephemeral world of silence and noise. i pour my anger and my sadness out of me, into the water. out through my lungs. i breathe in the silence, the noise, until i am full of silence and noise instead of anger and sadness. i continue to let the water wash over me, stripping me to my elements so that when i am before the fire i will feel less pain. and when the day is through and i lay my head to rest i try and remember that my happiness is shaped like many things, and i listen to the silence, the noise in my mind. the silence, the noise, of my hiding joy, and i wake in the morning and wait for the day when one of the keystones of my happiness will walk back into my life and the sadness that is shaped like two men will become sadness shaped like one man and then will be forgotten as i embrace the happiness shaped like one man, shaped like myself.