Monday, May 15, 2006

Miss You, Nikolai

The circus is falling down on its knees
Big top is crumbling down
Its raining in Baltimore, fifty miles east
Where you should be, noones around
I need a phone call
I need a rain coat
I need a big love
I need a phone call
These train conversations are passing me by
And I dont have nothing to say
You get what you pay for
But I just had no intention of living this way
I need a phone call
I need a plane ride
I need a sun burn
I need a rain coat
And I get no answers, and I dont get no change
Its raining in Baltimore baby, but everything else is the same
Thers things I'll remember, and things I'll forget
I miss you, I guess that I should
Three thousand, five hundred miles away, but what would you change if you could?
I need a phone call
Maybe I should buy a new car
I can always hear a freight traing baby if I listen real hard
And I wish it was a small world
Cause I'm lonely for teh big towns
I'd like to hear a little guitar
I guess its time to put the top down
I need a phone call
I need a rain coat
I really need a rain coat

Tuesday, May 09, 2006


my days are spent in alternating immersion of fire and water. the fire fuels my anger and my sadness. my anger is shaped like a man. my sadness is shaped like two men. the water cleanses me, that ephemeral world of silence and noise. i pour my anger and my sadness out of me, into the water. out through my lungs. i breathe in the silence, the noise, until i am full of silence and noise instead of anger and sadness. i continue to let the water wash over me, stripping me to my elements so that when i am before the fire i will feel less pain. and when the day is through and i lay my head to rest i try and remember that my happiness is shaped like many things, and i listen to the silence, the noise in my mind. the silence, the noise, of my hiding joy, and i wake in the morning and wait for the day when one of the keystones of my happiness will walk back into my life and the sadness that is shaped like two men will become sadness shaped like one man and then will be forgotten as i embrace the happiness shaped like one man, shaped like myself.