Tuesday, June 30, 2009


so i took a mini vacation this week, one day to hang out with trevor, one day to hang out with dave for canada day. here are the highlights from my day with trevor.

here i am shopping for bicycle tubes at canadian tire.... always a disappointing experience for cyclists

here is a sudden picture trevor took whilst we waited for a light to change on our super long walking adventure
here i am at the patio at jack astors. i have to say i think this is one of the best pictures trevor has ever taken. not because its of me but i just think the composition is amazing

here is the beer we drank at jack astors. canadian. what a treat for a pauper like me. also i just realised, very appropriate, considering that this is my canada day holiday.

this is the picture of the ashtray that i had trevor take to commemorate the guy who was high on blow who needed to put his cigarette out in our ashtray for some reason. im sure riding the white wave, it makes sense

this is me looking at the menu. i must admit, i was posing because i wanted to have an action shot. although looking at a menu isnt that active
this is trevor at jack astors
this is a picture of the ketchup bottle from jack astors. i have decided that taking a picture of ketchup bottles at restaurants is going to be trevor and my new hobby
this is a picture i took of the menu at jack astors to commemorate our feast on garlic bread, beer and pizza.
this is the view of the cn tower that i had from the balcony at jack astors. its a cool balcony because its very high up in the air
this is me modelling the amazing deals we got on clearance underwear at sears. yay sears
this is me drinking tea at starbucks. its funny because the paper cup is like as big as my head. it looks even bigger because of the perspective.
this is trevor at starbucks. it took me two tries to get this shot because he was talking while i was trying to take the picture

i took this picture of the chairs across the way from starbucks because they were very bright red. and i liked them. also we realised that this establishment was also an espresso bar and we should have tried going there instead of starbucks. but at least theres next time
and this is a picture of the quotes on the starbucks cups. so there it is comrades. my day of fun in the sun (it didnt rain even though it was supposed to) with trevor

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

well id have to say that this post is for all of you who dont really understand what the hell im talking about when i tell you about my job. last monday, i had to take J----- to his first ever challenger baseball game. now, sabrina has been on the challenger baseball team since she was like six, so i have been to many, many of the games. there are also a couple of kids in the league that i worked with briefly but not anymore. anyway, J----- and his parents had never even been to one of the games, so when his mother told me to make sure he didnt do any sliding, i laughed and said, have you ever been to one of these games? trust me, there is no sliding. its like, slow motion baseball.
anyway, so J----- is very physically fragile. basically, he cant fall. ever. because if he fell on his back he could break the rod in his back that is correcting his spine and if he fell on his front he could injure his internal organs. that being said, hes like any other nine year old boy, and hes always been interested in sports and wishes he could play football or soccer, but obviously his disabilities prevent him from doing so. SO it was SO COOL to be working with him at his first baseball game, because once he got over his initial shyness, he just totally opened up and you could see how much he was enjoying playing an organised team sport. you could see he was totally buzzed out to be playing and participating, and it was such a cool experience for me to have a hand in giving him that experience, and it was such an honour for me to be able to share it with him.
i guess what im saying is that even though it seems like my job is vague and random and pays poorly, its times like this that make it worth it. and it has given me so many moments like this, and so many people never come close to having that kind of connection or experience with another person, and i get to have these experiences all the time... so in so many ways i am blessed to be doing what i do. and i guess i cant really explain it any better than that.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Your City's a Sucker, My City's a Creep

greetings comrades. i have been meaning to do this post for some time, but i have been putting it off because i didnt want to do it in a rush. however, the recent comment from rosie dimanno of the toronto star (whose articles i quite enjoy) that hamilton is a 'dump' has forced my hand. also, allow me to preface what i am about to say by acknowledging that i am not the first hamiltonian to write on this issue and from this perspective. i am sure there are many hamilton writers and artists who have done what i am about to do long ago, and probably better. so here we go.
as much as i would like to sit here and bash torontonians for thinking that toronto is the only city in this fine country that matters, i am going to take the high road and not even go there. rather, i am going to talk about how citizens from other cities (im looking at you, TORONTO) have a completely inaccurate, although vaguely understandable perspective on hamilton. and here it is.
if you dont live here and you come to visit, this is what you see: dilapidated buildings, abandoned, boarded up stores, an almost ephemeral greyness that never stops, pollution, babies having babies, drug addicts and dealers, and all forms of riff raff imaginable. is all of this here? yes. but oh, so much more.
only in hamilton can you strike up a conversation with a bus driver without being ordered to shut up and get behind the yellow line. only in hamilton do perfect strangers have chats like old friends. there is so much camraderie here, and i dont see it anywhere else (im looking at you, TORONTO). hamilton is a low income, blue collar town. everyone is on their last leg and just trying to keep on keeping on. this brings the people together. it sounds depressing, but it isnt. hamiltonians have a collective drive to survive and can have a laugh and a beer while doing it. and you cant see that just walking down the street. because of the struggle and strife in hamilton, there is a diverse and fully inclusive arts community, and it seems like everyone here is like minded. so you know what, all of you temporary visitors who cant see past the first impression (im looking at you, TORONTO) im glad youre just temporary, because we dont need your ilk polluting our cultural milleux. so stick that in your pipe and smoke it. the crackhouse is just round the bend.

Monday, June 08, 2009


well well well, my good and noble comrades i have a question to end the ages. is there a limit to creative license??? i think there is. i have to admit this post is vaguely inspired by my fathers attempt to get a bad poetry contest going. (check out the as yet incomplete website at www.thebadpoet.coolpage.biz). anyway, there is this song by live called all over you which is super catchy and great to listen to whilst doing dishes, but really doesnt even attempt to make any sense. here are the lyrics:
our love is like water
pinned down and abused
for being strange
our love is no other
than me alone
for me all day
our love is like water/angels
pinned down and abused
all over you all over me
the sun the fields the sky
I've often tried to hold the sea
the sun the fields the tide
pay me now lay me down
comrades, im not even kidding. those are the lyrics to the song. now, im not a doctor or anything, but i dont think that water or angels are pinned down or abused for being strange. also, i dont understand what pay me now is supposed to mean... is the singer a prostitute? and from what grammatical bizarro land did an ingenious quip like "our love is no other than me alone for me all day" come from?
now before you all start bombarding me with examples of even more inane lyrics than this (that is, if i had any sort of audience other than my mum and daniel wheaton, you might bombard me), allow me to make a distinction. there are some songs/poems that are of the "nonsense" variety. example... the walrus and the carpenter as told by tweedle dum and tweedle dee in lewis carroll's alice in wonderland; foxtrot uniform charlie kilo as sung by the bloodhound gang. etc. i have no criticism for works of this nature. they are silly and fun. but this tripe from live about love being like water seems to be attempting to be this ridiculous love ballad that could only pull the heartstrings of the most desperately love sick twelve year old who is still waiting to start her period..... and thats all i have to say about that.

Friday, June 05, 2009

Disturbing Thought

if no one reads my blog, why should i ever expect anyone to read my book?????

Monday, June 01, 2009

Read My Book!

well i have spent most of this afternoon sending of dozens and dozens of query emails to agents in the states regarding my book about sabrina. i have also been collecting rejection notices from a few of them, but amazingly, one guy asked me to send my manuscript along shortly after i wrote him. so that sounds kind of promising, but best not to get my hopes up. anyway, i have to get moseying on to work now, but lets hope i have the ball rolling, and try not to dwell on the nagging thought that perhaps my work just isnt publishable.


well, as i mentioned in my last two posts, i would update you about the kite situation and the situation at the walrus as information became available. amazingly, i have information on both at this very moment, so i can condense it into one post. imagine. anyway, so this weekend dave came to see me in hamilton because i had a very brief shift on saturday morning and i figured, why bother wasting a whole day of our ever so short weekends just because i have to work. so dave was unable to get a new diamond kite like the one whose crossbar broke, but he did get a box kite by the same people while the kite sale was still on. although it was a little disappointing that we couldnt fix our diamond kite with any of the parts from the box kite, it was exciting because neither of us had ever flown a box kite before. so yesterday was super windy and we meandered on down to bayfront park and got the box kite up and running. it was awesome! and i tied an extra cord onto it so we got it to go up twice as high. and then i got my batman kite up again (the one that only cost a dollar fifty, remember) and it was excellent. and then i let a little kid fly the batman kite and she got it stuck in a tree. so her dad climbed the tree and we got it out, and amazingly, the cheap little thing didnt get torn. it is the kite that just wont quit. anyway, so thats the kite update. im still trying to get in touch with the makers of our defective diamond kite to see if they can send us a replacement part.
as for updating you about the walrus, i checked again to see if the information about the guilty pleasures writing contest is on the website or not and it is now. so the links in the last post will work now. i suppose my guess that the magazine went to print before the website was up and running was correct... it makes sense i suppose but also seems a little silly that they would send out a publication with incorrect contact information simply because the magazine is dated at some point in the future... but what do i know. im just a blogger.