Tuesday, April 03, 2007

50 Signs You Might Be An Asshole Student

well, well, my favourite blogger, waiter, of www.waiterrant.net , published three seperate lists entitled "50 signs you might be working in a lousy establishment, 50 signs you might be an asshole customer, 50 signs your waiter is an asshole" the lists, for the most part, were great, and the comments following them up were great also. so, i have been inspired to write two lists of my own, in kind, and here is the first:
50 SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE AN ASSHOLE STUDENT
1) you DEMAND that the teacher post lecture notes, and berate them on internet forums if they dont
2) you DEMAND that the teacher post readings, and berate them on internet forums if they dont, instead of just using the INDEX
3) you DEMAND that the teacher post practice exams
4) you DEMAND the teacher post readings, after you have already looked up the relevant readings in the book and posted them
5) you haggle with your ta/the teacher over a mark, when, if you get your way, your test mark will only increase by 0.5%, and therefore make NO contribution to your final mark in the class
6) you make a point of telling everyone about your upcoming med school interview, but act like you dont really care
7) you make a point of telling everyone that youre re-writing the MCAT, after you tell them how "bad" you did, only getting in the 90th percentile
8) you tell your teacher, in front of everyone, before class begins, that "this course is going to make or break my 100% cumulative average for graduation, i only got 97% on the midterm"
9) you tell teh teacher its his or her fault you did poorly on the test
10) you cut off your peers in the middle of a discussion
11) you dont show up for group meetings
12) you start showing up for group meetings a week before the project is done and then start trying to commandeer the whole thing
13) you ask lab mates for primary literature, but ignore the same lab mates when they ask you for somethign
14) you are passive aggressive
15) you make sure everyone who comes within a 5 mile radius of you knows that you dont drink because youre "serious" about school
16) you find it appalling that some people take time off from school
17) you find it appalling that some people work for a living
18) you eat at the establishments where these "appallling" peers of yours work and throw up on the tables after binge drinking
19) you eat at these same establishments and punch holes in the wall
20) you eat at these same establishments and have sex in the bathroom
21) you wear any sort of engineering faculty clothing
22) you call people "retards"
23) you use the word "gay" to mean "stupid"
24) you think family guy is a great show
25) you think you are incredibly intelligent but you dont know what the word "rhetoric" means
26) you think you are incredibly intelligent but you dont know what "mutually exclusive" means
27) you wear your skankiest clubbing outfit to class on the first day of spring, no matter how cold it is
28) you give smokers on campus the evil eye, but have no problem bumming smokes at teh bar because youre a "social smoker"
29) you bum smokes on campus and dont say please or thank you or im so sorry to do this and then jsut walk away like i owed you a favour anyway
30) you go to the library "to study" and just talk on your cell phone in the non-designated areas
31) you use the library computers to talk on msn when other people need the computers to print of assignments
32) you go to the second cup and have really "sophisticated" "philosophical" conversations loud enough for the whole world to hear
33) you relay some story to a girl about when you were in germany and make sure you say the dialogue once in german and once in english just so that she KNOWS you speak both languages.
34) the days leading up to reading week, every sentence has the words "bathing suit" "cancun" and "tanning" in it
35) you make sure to tell lower years that youre working on your undergraduate thesis to make yourself feel important
36) you have a blackberry (who are you? a lawyer?)
37) you get a new ipod every six months
38) you have never been downtown. not even once. not even to go to a movie
39) instead of using your supervisor's computer which has all of teh software you need for your project, you decide to waste a group meeting that everyone had to juggle their schedules to attend, to download trial software on to your laptop instead
40) you consider yourself an "activist" but all of your clothes are from places like the gap, banana republic, club monaco, etc, (my MOM bought them for me! what are you, six?) and you talk down to everyone in the service industry
41) you have never. ever. had a job
42) you consider yourself and environmentalist, but you drive an SUV (but i recycle!)
43) you think being a maroon (spirit leader) actually looks good on a med school application
44) you think that it takes 6 people to make a collage
45) you think that the teacher is talking to you, and you alone, during class
46) you think you and the teacher are friends
47) you are just pretending to like a teacher so youll get a good reference
48) you stop going to your volunteering job once your med school application has been processed
49) you think getting on the guest list at the campus bar is really cool
50) you think the campus bar is a club

4 comments:

MistryZ said...

I'm such an asshole student:

1), 3), 22), 23), 24), 25), 26), 27), 36), 39), 43), 46)!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Waiter said...

I'm sure I was an asshole student too!

Daniel Mark said...

I might be an asshole student, and I'm hardly even a student, but I do love Family Guy.

Daniel Mark said...

Heavens to Betsy, good lord, mercy me, I'm NOT your FAVOURITE blogger???