Plagarist!

alright i am going to commit the horrendous crime of plagarism. not really, but sort of. one of my clients, who is in grade four, had to write a journal on monday describing his perfect day, and i thought "hmmm that would be an excellent blog." so excellent, in fact, that i would encourage any and all of my fellow bloggers to plagarise me and use this topic themselves. the only limit i am going to place on this is that you cant say something like "i would win a bazillion dollars in the lottery and then spend the rest of my life doing this and this and this" that is a different topic called "what would you do if you won a bazillion dollars." and, whatever you decide to do has to conceivably be done within 24 hours. so if it would take you twelve hours to get somewhere or do something, that takes twelve hours off of the day. BUT you can START the day wherever you want. it doesnt have to be where you already live. so, here we go.
LOCATION: amazon rainforest
on my perfect day, i would wake up in a hut in the top of the foliage in the amazon rainforest next to my man, dave. it would be warm and the forest would be humming with life. we would dine on fresh exotic fruits and nuts that we had spent the morning gathering from the very trees we were living in.
in the afternoon, we would descend the trees, taking photographs of all of the plants and animals and insects and eating fruits and looking at each other. the air would be thick and smell of life and we wouldnt really talk because there would be nothing to say.
we would spend the afternoon hiking to the amazon river, which isnt far from our treetop camp and we would spend the rest of the day swimming in the river and bathing under the waterfall. maybe we would smoke a little dope under the waterfall and listen to the rain and the water swell and ebb and flow.
we would return to the tree top together and plan to find some fruit bats to photograph the next day.
we would fall asleep listening to the frogs and life of the forest.
we would be safe and warm and together.
we would be happy, and the smell of the river water would rise up from our skin and blend with the life that inhabits the forest.
we would be part of the forest.

Yes, I am Going There

alright comrades. i usually keep the vegetarian talk to a minimum, but ive seen TWO articles today already on this just wandering around and its only 1PM. the way i see it, this is my blog and i can say whatever i want. so, here is my issue: FLEXITARIANS! THEY DRIVE ME BATSHIT CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in case youve never heard of these wiffle waffling psychopaths, "flexitarians" are assholes who are "vegetarian most of the time." ive also heard it described as "vegetarians who occasionally eat meat." or, as those of us who are actually vegetarian call it: "meat eaters."
as far as im concerned, there is no grey area with vegetarianism. you either eat meat, or you dont. (btw, i dont need everyone pointing out to me that there are vegetarians who dont use any animal products at all so there is some wiggle room. those are vegans. also no grey area there. youre either vegan or youre not). to call occasional meat eating by any other name is just aligning yourself with vegetarians for some inexplicable reason. its the same madness as "social smokers." theres no such thing as social smoking. you either smoke or you dont. the fact that you do it LESS than OTHER smokers is irrelevant. people just seem to have this need to fit in with a label, to have some purpose or motivation defining their behaviour, and i dont get it.
maybe its more about justifying behaviour. "im going to justify smoking by saying i dont do it all the time" or "im going to justify eating meat even though im fundamentally opposed to it because i dont do it all the time." i realise that in general in life, we have to make compromises, and they are often to the benefit of all involved. but i think that these sorts of moral compromises dont make any sense. especially because most moral compromises (particularly ones of this nature) really only affect the person making the compromise. which is why i think that this whole attitude is about how people want to appear to others rather than how they truly feel about themselves.
i would have more respect for these so-called flexitarians if they would just be straight about what it is theyre trying to accomplish. something more along the lines of "i try to limit my meat consumption for health and environmental reasons" or "i believe in moderation, which includes the consumption of meat" or, (lets be honest) "i feel the need to draw attention to my dietary choices because a) i want you to know that i have been keeping up with current events, b) i need to feel superior to others and c) we can further discuss me and my opinions for the rest of the night."

Quotable Quotes

"its easy to sleep. you just put your head down and close your eyes and be tired."
- 9 year old sibling of client

"i cant help but wonder
if we were wrong when we were younger
and thought we were
fun"
- me, in IM with shayla

"i need new batteries because the magic has gone out of them"
- 18 year old client

What Were You Thinking?

many moons ago, my mum cut out a cartoon from the paper that showed a woman holding an iron under the tree on christmas day and the caption said, "i know its the thought that counts. what the hell were you thinking?" this memory popped up today, because there are times when i wonder if it really is the thought that counts.
many, many, many times in my meanderings as a wheelchair pusher, i have come up against people who, in trying to be nice to my clients are actually being totally ignorant. the latest example was this:
anne and i were on the bus. anne loves to ride the bus. she always gets a little worked up when we first get on, but settles down after a few minutes and some stern words from myself. anyway, so she was going through her usual routine of giggling and rocking and carrying on, and i got her settled down and this woman says, "she should have brought a stuffed animal with her." all friendly-like. in this obnoxious "i have the perfect solution to your problem, good thing i was here" type of tone. (sidebar. there IS no problem, thats why this kind of behaviour is so irritating. anne getting SLIGHTLY wound up on the bus is no big deal. its not a problem for her, its not a problem for me, and if it bothers other people, then thats THEIR problem.) so i said, "i dont think that would do anything" (her having a stuffed animal. anne doesnt really like toys, if youre interested. she likes photographs and packing and unpacking bags. thats her idea of a toy. a bag full of photos). and instead of dropping it, this woman says, "really? you dont think so?" and i said, real calm-like, "she isnt a child."
if that isnt the same as saying just shut the fuck up, i dont know what is, but this woman still had to have the last word, "well im not a child, and i still like them"
by this point, i was fuming, and as ever, feeling conflicted. which brings me to my point. although i realise that people are usually just trying to be nice when they talk to us like this, they are really just showing how ignorant they are. it infuriates me beyond belief when people condescend to my clients and even more so when people pity them. but its so hard to set people straight when theyre just trying to be nice.
the only conclusion i have been able to come to on this is that i maintain that ill take people with special needs over the general population any day of the week.

Update

hello comrades
i have a few things i want to post about, but its going to have to wait until next week when i get paid and can afford a card reader for my new camera, because these posts come with visuals, and i dont want to write about them before hand. so please be patient. i just wanted to let you all know that i do have things to write about, i have not dropped off the face of the planet.
in other news, i want to welcome all of my new followers! i dont know how often any of you get to read, but i am glad to have you here, and i hope you wont be disappointed! here at science, tea and cats we are all about diversity! diversity of post style and content, diversity of readers, diversity of opinions! so i welcome you all!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Heart Hurts

well comrades
the cat is out of the bag. i have applied to a programme at humber college. it is a very competitive graduate certificate programme, and if i got into it, it would totally change my life. seriously. so its pretty exciting and its a pretty big deal. but its also pretty stressful. i dont want to get my hopes up. i had the interview a week ago. i just checked my status on their website and i almost had a complete meltdown just logging on. way too stressful. anyway im still under review, so i figure thats good, i havent been turned down yet anyway. anyway i guess thats all for now. im too distracted to write something more interesting.

A Million Dollar Idea?

or a massive conspiracy theory? YOU BE THE JUDGE!
alright i thought of something a while back that i cant believe doesnt exist. it is an idea that is worth a million dollars. the reason im going to talk about it here is i have this theory that the reason no one has cashed in on this is because of the following conspiracy theory.
i think that HERSHEY'S chocolate has some sort of corporate boycott happening with the coconut industry. think about it. i cant think of a single hershey's product that has coconut in it. as such, my million dollar idea is this: why havent they made hersheys kisses with coconut? they have hugs, those are the ones with almonds; mini kisses; micro mini kisses (which, lets be honest, are just chocolate chips); the black and white ones; plain white ones; black ones dipped in white; candy coated micro minis (again, just candy coated chocolate chip); dark. coconut? NO! whats the deal?

Why Is a Raven Like a Writing Desk?

thus spoke the mad hatter, that famous purveyor of nonsense. i love nonsense in almost any form. (i also love lewis caroll, who penned this answerless question. he was a logician, which sounds like magician for obvious reasons, but that is another post to be typed at another time). the only kind of nonsense i dont like is the kind where someone thinks they are making a really profound point in a flawless, impenetrable argument when what they are really doing is looking like an idiot. this is especially awesome when they do it in public. on the radio. on the john moore show. which has a huge audience.
so heres what happened. at 824 in the morning, john moore shoots the shit with liza fromer (sp?) for a few minutes. of course, the hot topic today was the master's golf tournament that ended yesterday. anyway, liza was all up in arms because, as we all wonder from time to time, is golf really a sport? (see my post hurry hard! for my thoughts on curling and this question). she thinks not. then, later on in the show, john was talking to some golf guy whos opinions on the events of this years masters are supposedly interesting and relevant and authoritative. at the end of the interview, john moore informed this guy of liza's opinion that golf is not a sport and asked him what his response is to people who say that. here is the jist of this guys argument. (i apologise that i cant reprint it verbatim, but it was on the radio, so its not like i have a transcript).
"i dont know who said that personally, so i cant say what her experience is, but i hate it when people criticise something without actually trying it first. there is no way to really understand what it takes to do something without trying it yourself and its easy to be critical if youre just passively observing"
so far so good right? he continues:
"i would like for people who think that way to go out and see how they feel once they have to try walking from hole to hole when its really hot out or really cold. then they can come back and tell me that golf isnt a sport and doesnt require athleticism"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ok so my problem with this is twofold:
1) wow. walking. sooooo hard. also, they drive most of the time, and they have someone else carrying the 50 pound bag.
2) even if the walking is such a feat of fitness, it has no bearing on the outcome of the game itself. therefore, the "athleticism" required to walk around the golf course doesnt make the game of golf athletic. thats like saying if you ride your bike to your poker game, playing cards is athletic. its not a race from hole to hole, so the amount and strenuousness of the walking is completely irrelevant.
and thats all i have to say about that.

Shovel Trouble

hello comrades
i finally remembered one of the blog topics that ive been meaning to write about for a while but kept forgetting about every time i sat down at the computer. the topic: obesity. disclaimer: i realise that weight loss or gain in general and obesity in particular can be very sensitive topics for some people and although i am going to try my best to make this post nonjudgmental, i am sure there are some people who could potentially find this post offensive. it is not my intention to offend anybody, so read at your own risk.
over the last i dont know, year i guess, i have developed a growing fascination with obesity. i cant really explain it. maybe its because i have an obese person in my life who i see on a regular basis who is a candidate for the stomach band thingy. i dont know, but i am increasingly preoccupied with this phenomenon.
first of all, i think that most people, women who have children especially, go through ups and downs with their body weight. this is natural and to be expected. we all go through a variety of things in life that can affect our levels of activity and metabolism and diet. to me though, this fluctuation is healthy until it exceeds twenty or thirty pounds (i would also point out that this same reasoning applies to people LOSING too much weight, so im not really singling anyone out yet). what i find so provocative about obesity is twofold.
first of all, my interest is a biological one. let us assume that a person who is not obese drastically changes their diet so that they are taking in far more calories than they are burning. let us also assume that there isnt some sort of medical problem with their metabolism or something. to make this example very simple, lets say that the person starts eating fried chicken and french fries three times a day and is not exercising beyond what they were doing before this dietary change. obviously, the person would put on weight very quickly. the thing is though, that eventually they would put on enough weight (lets say, forty pounds) that the three meals a day of chicken and fries would be equal to the number of calories they are burning, because as you increase the fatty tissue in the body, you are also increasing the vascular tissue and the connective tissue between the cells and keeping all of that tissue alive requires more calories than the person needed before the dietary change. so the person has reached equilibrium again. (this is why, in weight watchers, heavier people are actually given more "points" than lighter people, because their basal metabolic rate is actually higher. they need more calories than lighter people simply by virtue of the fact that there is more body in need of calories). therefore, for the person to put on even MORE weight, they will have to eat even MORE. and again, this caloric imbalance will eventually equilibrate. and on and on and on it goes until the person reaches three hundred, four hundred, five hundred pounds. its mind boggling. eating must be this persons' full time job. where do they get the time? or the money? this is especially interesting to me, because since i do endurance sports, i have to eat ALOT. there was even a particularly depressing period of my life where i was having difficulty keeping weight ON, and all i thought about all the time was food. where was going to get it, how was i going to get it, and when was i going to eat it. as someone who eats a lot and maintains a healthy body weight, i just cant imagine eating more. now i realise that obese people are not eating healthy, many of them eat empty calories, lots of sugar, white carbs devoid of nutrients, etc, but i still think at some point, it MUST come down to sheer volume. how do they do it?
ok second point relates to body image and denial, i think. i just dont know how someone can keep putting on and putting on weight and not having any desire to change. i dont understand how you make that psychological shift. for example: last fall, i noticed my pants were getting a little tight. i did NOT go out and buy bigger pants. i stopped drinking beer every night of the week and got back into swimming, which i had been out of for two years. taking the weight off was the most natural reaction to putting it on in my mind. i dont understand how someone can just go out and buy bigger and bigger and bigger pants. do they just give up? are they totally in denial about it? inquiring minds want to know.
i dont mean for this post to sound judgmental. i really dont. i am just so interested by this. i wish i could get into the heads of these people, but thats part of the problem, its such a sensitive topic, that its improper to discuss it. so i am left to wonder as i wander and in my wandering, i get to eat whatever i want.

Four Day Weeks

hello comrades! long time no see. i have been a busy bee (kind of) and havent really been able to blog. to tell you the truth, i havent had many ideas, either, which doesnt help. but i figure i should at least say something so you all know im still here.
this week is my second of three four day weeks in a row, and let me tell you, i could get used to it. its not that im lazy, but i am long overdue for a vacation, and it seems like four day weeks are about as close as it gets.
last weekend dave and i went to collingwood for easter and my sisters birthday, which was excellent. we went hiking on the bruce trail with my mum and my sister and her boyfriend and clara the dog. i have to admit i get more excited about seeing the dog than anything else, but i think its because i dont get to talk to her on the phone. we also made a hilarious video with my brother, which i am hoping to get a copy to share with you soon.
being in collingwood made me super stoked to see courtland and callie in beauty and the beast, which is coming up in may. we also had some excellent cheese.
in other news, i got my hands on a camera finally, and i just need to get a card and cable for it and we are all set. so i will be able to put up more pictures more often on here as well as on facebook (for those of you who know me on facebook). im pretty excited about this, i have grown very fond of taking pictures over the last few years. its hard to explain, i dont really know why. anyway, i guess thats it for now. if i think of anything more interesting to write, i shall let you know!