my grandfather died today. this was a man that i never saw very much, and i didnt know him very well. but my dad is feeling a tremendous sense of loss right now, and it all got me thinking. i think the thing that makes me saddest about death, and this one in particular, is how life just goes on. today, i had a cigarette in the bright warm sun, and my grandfather will never feel the sun on his skin again. and i walked through torrential downpour rains today, and he will never get to hear the raindrops drumming away on the pavement, kindly coaxing the flowers back to life. and he will never get to see the sunset, or smell the wet grass in the spring, or experience any of the other beautiful things there are on this most miraculous planet. and i know that heaven is supposed to be so much more marvellous than anything here, so great that in our mortal lives, we cannot even comprehend it, but at the same time i am sad, because there is so much beauty here [see "why i study biology" in the archives] that i dont know what to do with it. and even though the afterlife is so much better, i have a lot of appreciation for the things here, and i love every inch of it, as it surrounds me, all the time.
my thoughts and prayers are with you dad, and rest in peace, grandpa.