No One Said It Would Be Easy

well, i feel totally out of control right now. my grades are slip, slip, slipping, and the worse it gets, the less i want to do. i dont know how im going to get through the month of april with nonstop exams, papers, moving, and needing to take on more special needs clients. fourth year is supposed to be the final send off, but all its shaping up to be for me is one big flunk fest. i dont know how much more of this i can take. theres so much pressure to succeed... everyone seems to have their shit together, while i just sit at home watching six feet under and waiting for my next swim to start. i feel like everything i do these days is a form of escapism. television, books, movies, swimming, drinking, eating, napping....even right now, im blogging because i felt i needed a "study break"... i only gave my studying a solid hour. there was a time when i could study for a six hour stretch. fuck, what is WRONG with me?