Sunday, November 20, 2005

Losing Yourself

having never been one for looking people in the eye (a habit which i am constantly trying to get into, but constantly running into a wall of shyness), it takes a few drinks for me to get up the nerve sometimes. but once i do, it can be very rewarding. if you look the right person in the eye, its as if eternity has passed between you. as if those honey brown eyes are swallowing you like pools of warm amber and are never going to release you. and you forget what you were thinking and what you were saying and what you were doing, and that the person behind those eyes is even a person at all. and the only coherent thought that might occur to you is i wonder if there is this kind of power in my gaze? or is it hidden behind all of the sorrow and insecurity and a red pair of glasses. OR is it hidden behind all of these things to most people, but this person sees beyond all that and i have created the same eternity for them... with my eyes green-blue-grey like the sea skies, swallowing and all encompassing and never going to release the other person. and they forget what they were thinking and saying and doing and that the person behind my eyes is a person at all. it is at times like this, when this mutual moment of depth occurs that two people really are absolute before one another.. where these two people are totally vulnerable, open, and willingly so. it is not possible to keep a secret from the other person at this moment, but luckily you cant really say much anyway. and then, just when you cannot stand it for another single second, you break your gaze, or drop your smokes, or its your turn to shoot darts, and the moment has passed, just leaving you wondering if you will ever have a moment, an eternity, like that with someone, anyone, ever again.

1 comment:

the mother unit said...

this is an impressive piece of writing...i have been where u have written about...it is difficult to describe this fleeting moment and yet u have captured it on paper...thank u...mom