UNDER THE SEA! woo!
when i was a little girl, i wanted to be a mermaid when i grew up. once my parents so kindly informed me that there is no such thing as mermaids (oh the fun of literalist parents), i started devoting much of my time to fantasizing about being a mermaid instead of fantasizing about growing up to become one.
now im 24 and im beginning to think that this is a pipe dream. that being said, i dont think i will ever tire in my efforts to force the laws of physics and biology to bend to my will and allow me to breathe underwater. i dont know if this whole mermaid thing was the cause or the effect of my love of swimming, and i dont think it really matters, but i will say that i have always felt more comfortable in the water than out of it.
i have written about my love of swimming in the past, so i apologise to any of my long time readers who may feel this is old hat, but i would just like to revisit some of the main points here, mostly because i had an awesome swim today that embodied everything i love about it.
for me, swimming is the only time i really feel at peace. i dont think about anything except the sound of my breathing and the number of lanes i have done. its etheral. it doesnt matter how stressed out i am about something or for what reason, just give me forty minutes at the pool and the problem will be pushed from my mind.
sometimes, like today, i hit this stride. it sounds kind of corny, but its almost like achieving higher consciousness or something. i cant really describe it accurately, but its like i have complete awareness of every single cell in my body and i have this intuitive sense of the water and how its moving and interacting with me. when that happens, its as if i am manipulating the very fabric of the water molecules in order to achieve my own ends, and my body is this fantastic, perfect well-honed machine that i have complete control over. its a very powerful feeling. its almost like i can see my heart beating and feel my lungs and its almost like im actually coordinating all of it with my muscles voluntarily. im sure it sounds kind of bizarre to read it like that, but its the best way i can describe it, and i imagine that this is what those crazy running bastards are on about when they talk about their runners high. anyway, i dont know what i would do if i didnt have swimming for an outlet. i dont think i will ever really give up on becoming a mermaid. no matter what my parents think.