The Truth About Television

for years i have whole heartedly rejected television. that is, i do not have cable, and i generally watch movies over television when given the choice. i mean, im one of the only people i know who actually says "television" instead of that disgusting abbreviation, tv. but, i will admit, through various means, whether legal or not, i do occaisonally run into shows that i cannot get enough of (minus commercials, the cornerstone of my anti television philosophy). most recently, the two shows i have become enamoured with (or re-enamoured with in one case) are house and scrubs. and as i have sat here, making excuses for watching both of these shows when i actually have schoolwork to do, forcing myself to stay up very very late to get schoolwork done, or missing swimming like i am tonight, i realised a solemn truth about the television shows that do, somehow, manage to grab me. the fact is, the shows that do break their way through my enormous resistance, are shows that bring me hope. i know that most medical shows (or law shows, or crime shows or whatever) are not very realistic and so on, but there's something about the lessons that soothe me. there's something about watching fake people accomplish everything that i have set out to accomplish and learning their little scripted lessons along the way that make me feel better. and even, i hate to say it, inspire me. and for those 22 or 42 minute time frames, i find a way sometimes to believe in myself and what i do. to believe that i will one day reach out and take that medical degree, because right now, i sit here surrounded by my life and i am slowly building my staircase and climbing it at the same time

My Quest

well, what a day this has been. i set off this afternoon to see an apartment way a ways on the east side of hamilton. the girl i was supposed to meet never showed. so, i started hoofing it back instead of taking the bus to write down apartment phone numbers that i saw that i might be interested in. it was a long and treacherous walk (well not that treacherous) and i went to an apartment building i had seen had an open house closer to downtown. the super showed me an apartment and he was a very nice guy, and if i moved there, i would be allowed to have a dog. so thats pretty exciting, i just don't know if i can afford it. im looking at another place tomorrow thats about the same price, in a house. and im going to go down to this other building near my old place thats a little cheaper tomorrow. its all a little unnerving, but a little exciting too. i hope i can find a way to make my big grown up life work. as i was on the bus driving towards the no show, i couldnt help but feel i was looking for my future. or even my destiny. and as i was walking back, i kept seeing people with dogs and i wanted to accost them, saying "where do you live! get me a place in your building!" but of course i didnt.

Liquish?

well, as i mentioned in my previous post, i looked into the so-called "liquish" olives that i bought from the asian snack food store. unfortunately, i turned up very little information. what i can tell you is this. the "olives" as they were labelled in the store, are not the mediterranean olives that we are used to in greek cuisine. also, i think the word "liquish" might actually be a misspelling of "licorice" but im not sure. there might have been a licorice taste to the olives, but i usually like licorice, and these bad boys were awful. so, dear readers, i am asking you to see if you can find any information on this disgusting product for me, so i can have a better idea of what i ate.

Happy Snow Day!

i mean, happy valentine's day. and this has certainly been a valentines to remember. yesterday, the weather was brtual, we were having a blizzard and a half. it looked like a snow day for sure. i went to bed praying that today would be a snow day, because i had my logic midterm, and i was not prepared. so, early this morning, i checked to see if it was a snow day, and they had decided to close the school until noon and reevaluate the weather at 11am. damn. my test was supposed to be at 230, so as of this morning, i was still on the hook for writing it. i was frantically trying to study, and getting seriously stressed. but then, lo and behold, i checked the "reevaluation" of the weather at 11, and school was closed for the day! hooray! now i have a whole extra week plus some to prepare for the test, and prepare for it i shall. so, with a free day on my hands, i felt it was time for some adventuring. and of course, every adventurer needs a comrade, so of course i called amit. after some waiting around and watching seinfeld, amit arrived, and he had brought me a rose and some indian sweets for valentines! that just made my day. (amit, thank you again, you are such a doll). so we were off. i had it in my head that i wanted to try having steamed milk with mint in it, so first stop was the second cup. steamer with mint gets a roaring a+. then we were off to shoppers where i mailed kate her valentine (late of course), and then we went to the mall. i needed some cleaning supplies, and i thought we might stop into this strange asian food store for some foreign candied fruit. i got something called liquish olive and something else called sweet plum. i also got some wasabi chick peas and some cheese flavoured tiny breadsticks. everything was tasty except the olives, which were nasty. (research on them to be completed soon, update to follow). then we wandered around the mall for a bit to pick up my cleaning supplies and i was kind of sort of looking for sunglasses, but i wasnt too bent on the idea. before we left, i got it in my head that i wanted to try running up the down escalator. it was so awesome. about half way up i heard people cheering but i couldnt see where they were because i was looking at my feet. then i made it all they way to the top, but i couldnt get off the thing because the top is the hardest part. so i ended up falling (and i SCREWED my ankle, the same ankle which i already have an x ray and a sports medicine appointment for) and i bashed my knee, but man was it worth it. so i rode the escalator back down on my ass to amit waiting at the bottom. looking around, i realised that the people cheering were some mall rats between 13 and 15 years old. they were also horsing around on the escalator, and the security guard showed up to tell them off while amit and i made a quick retreat. after that we were off to noodle chef, where we each had a beto box, and then on our way home. what a riot. i cant wait to tell the doctor that i hurt my ankle MORE while i was running up a down elevator. im sure that will go over AWESOME.

Fond-Who?

yesterday was the grand finale to yet another hilarious amit and chloé adventure. the best part about this particular adventure, is that its duration spanned the better part of three days, and i hope i leave no stone unturned while telling the story. so here it is.
last week, i recieved an email from everybody's favourite artist, shayla, inviting me to a party she was having friday, february 9. i made a mental note of this email, and then dismissed it for the time being. come monday of this week, i realised the party was looming and i needed someone to go with, since shaylas partise are always busy and i dont want to take up all of her social time when she has other people to be talking to. so, of course, of course, i did what anyone would do in this situation, i invited amit. amit said of course hed come, and the plans were set. after that, we figured going to shaylas would be as easy as stopping at the liquor store, but we were wrong. on tuesday, i ran into one of shaylas friends, amanda, at the blood donor clinic (sweet elixer of life!), who reminded me of two things. the first was that the costume theme of the party was the food industry (which was apparently amanda's idea) and that we were supposed to bring dip. good thing i ran into her, i thought. so on wednesday, when i met up with amit, i said "what dip are we going to bring to shaylas party? we need to bring the most original dip, something NOONE else will bring." and without missing a beat, amit said "fondue". GENIUS! i said, except we need a fondue pot. so, since we both had our afternoon free, we made plans to go on a fondue pot quest on thursday, after our shopping around on wednesday was far from fruitful. (although, i did finally get some grocery shopping done on that day, and amit and i made a trip to the bakery. there was also a pie incident that threatened our friendship, but crisis was averted, and the story goes on).
so, thursday afternoon we head downtown. since i had given blood on tuesday, that gave me the green light for a new piercing, and i had been itching for a double eyebrow piercing for quite sometime. i asked amit if he wouldnt mind if we made a side trip so i could start my eyebrow piercing adventure, and he said no problem. so, i got an appointment at the parlour. an hour or so later, and i was pierced and feeling great, with amit having been my first ever stand by piercing witness. he also held my glasses for me which was nice.
so we were off, eyebrow throbbing, hearts pounding, in anticipation of our soon to be fondue pot. we ended up finding one at this really cracked out department store called hart in jackson square. there was this guy a head of us in line with scary prison tats, but the fondue pot was nice and cheap. so amit suggested we go to the liquor store right after so we wouldnt have to go the next day but i said wait because i didnt know how much money i had. this turned out to be a bad call on my part, details to follow. anyway, so i was pretty buzzed with my new piercing and i wanted to go for a couple of drinks. amit was kind of hungry, so we went to this dive bar called buttinsky's down town. i got havlf snapped on three doubles, thanks to my blood donation, and amit and i had an ever interesting exchange of information regarding each other's religion. will that topic ever get old? i think not. so after that, we headed to our seperate homes
friday nite came around with amit calling to ask me to let him into the building, only to get in on his own and scare the pants off of me in the hall. we decided to walk to fortinoes and the liquor store, since the bus is rarely any faster for a medium walking distance like that. on our way to the liquor store, however, we discovered that someone had taken an enormous chunk out of dundurn street. i said it looked like a supervillain had been through. anyway, there was absolutely no way to get down dundurn, so we had to find a way around. after getting trapped in a cul de sac, we accosted a motorist to direct us around, and then we were on our way. after picking up liquor, we went to the grocery store to get fruits and chocolate, and had much bickering along the way about how to buy fruit and how we should have gone to the liquor store on thursday. anyway. i, having three siblings, consider bickering a cornerstone to healthy relationships. amit is not as used to it and i think he was worried we were fighting. anyway, on the way home, irritation with each other gave way to laughter and excitement about the party. we were so excited about our fondue, we were sure it would be the best dip at the party. we were imagining that the fondue set would have people inviting us to all of their parties until we realised that people love the fondue, not us. then we predicted the fondue set would tear us apart in the end and wed have to get rid of it.
so we arrived at my house and got set to cut up the fruit which took a fraction of the time i thought it would. i got changed into my nice kitchen clothes (not my gross snooty clothes), and we headed to amits. amit pounded down three slices of bread at his house and i helped him with his tie, and he looked great. we headed across the street to shaylas only to find there were only four of us in costume! amanda wasnt even in costume even though the costumes were apparently her idea. not only that, but most of shaylas guests didnt show, they were mostly megans friends and shaylas boyfriends friends. but no matter, my outfit made the fondue seem even more slick and we were right, best dip at the party. amit and i spent the rest of the night pounding down bread and dip and vodka and having a grand time. we were sharing an armchair at one point and i joked later that all of that cuddling was blowing my chances of meeting someone at the party. i also ended up taking a nap in shaylas bed (of course) and then trying to nap more on the couch. shayla burned her self on hot pita bread and amit told her to put toothpaste on it and then she was fussing over it for the rest of the night. a couple more people showed up in costume at the end of the night, and we headed home well after two. so that is the story of the fondue. big thanks go out to shayla, we had a blast, and amit, heres to our next adventure.

Group Work

well, i have to say, if i have to do one more group project, im going to puke. and each group seems worst than the last. my current issue is with my ecology group, one of the girls in particular is a hyper keener, totally passive aggressive and controlling. she is one of these chicks who never lost that grade school mentality of "doing as much work as possible=getting an A". it was great though when our teacher ripped apart our outline that we handed in, that she wrote, because it was way too long and complicated. haha. anyway as if she wasnt irritating enough, i can handle people like that with my bitchiness and no nonsense manner, but i found myself sitting with ryan (thank God for ryan, i dont know what i would do in that group without him) listening to these girls talking about their friends who are engaged (and the one girl who is engaged) for like 20 minutes while i picked MUD out of my hair (result of riding my bike in this weather) wondering why it isnt blindingly obvious to my mother why i am not this kind of girl. what kind? the kind who is planning on getting married. this is exactly why. while girls like this titter and giggle about getting married, i am sitting with the only guy in the room picking mud out of my hair and writing my never ending to do list in my head. but WHATEVER, apparently IM the abnormal one. anyway, i finally finished my paper and i think i deserve/need a drink.

Sold!

well, after hearing so much about it, i finally saw an episode of house, and i am SOLD. house, as you may well know, is a show about a doctor who hates just about everything. he has no interest in treating patients, only in treating illnesses. tough diagnoses and treatments are his game, and thats exactly how he looks at it, a game. its like hes a detective, solving the mysteries hidden in enigmatic symptoms. hes rude, mean, uncaring, and dispassionate, and the show, as everyone keeps saying is fantastic. ive only seen the first episode (im supposed to be sleeping/studying) but it was totally worth it.

Eureka!

i have done it! after many years, the quest, until perhaps stumbling by accident upon a different outcome, is finally over. for years, i have eaten every slice of new pizza i could get my hands on. and i constantly, constantly, was playing a game of "sauce from place A plus cheese from place B plus crust from place C plus topping freshness from place D plus topping selection from place E equals the best pizza ever" but really, the quest was to find this perfect pizza without having to assemble it in my imagination using resources from 5 different places. and i think, at last, that it has been done. basilique in westdale is a pizza place that i have been to many times, but i dont think i have ever gotten the pizza. or if i had, it was only once, but i really dont think i ever had. anyway, i finally tried their vegetarian standard slice last night, and it was, without a doubt, the best piece of pizza i have ever had. that said, tonite i got their pizza called "sabrienas favourite" the only modification i made to which was to substitute spinach (thats right i said spinach) for the tomatoes. and DAMN its amazing. so we can put the case of the perfect pizza to bed for now.

Merde!

well, what a day this has been. where shall i even start. my day started with shayla coming over to drink yerba meté with me, and this was by far the high point of my day. in about 24 hours, my life has gone from managable to out of control. im up to my eyeballs in school work, and most of the stuff i have to do is all due within the same couple of days. needless to say, i felt on the brink of a break down, but after some pondering and mental checklisting, i have divided my work into more managable packets, so i would say im under controlled stress and feeling a little better. i know that everything always comes together in the end, but sometimes the coming together is painful. and as if i didnt already resent my job enough, i could really use my saturday and sunday this weekend to get stuff done, but what can you do? anyway, so as i was stressing, i was looking forward to my first day back at the pool. this semester, due to some schedule conflicts, im swimming at mac instead of at dalewood, and im pretty happy about it. i can still drop in and do masters at dalewood when i have time, and i plan to, but the mac masters is what im signed on for and its three days a week. anyway, so as i said, i was looking forward to getting back in the water, and today was my first time in the changeroom since the new renovations were completed. the new changeroom is HUGE! and its a veritable labyrinth. i was wandering and wandering trying to find the entrance to the pool, asking everyone if they knew how to get there. theres no signs or anything. turns out, you have to get through the locker labyrinth, past the SECOND set of showers, through a door, through a twisting corridor, through another door (which for some reason walks past windows of people working out, and there was a pack of girls running laps through this corridor with some sort of coach or instructor yelling at them), through another door, past a THIRD set of showers, and through the FINAL door to get to the pool. had i not been so frustrated with my day in general, and so looking forward to swimming, i might have found such an adventure fun. anyway, so i get to the pool finally and there was a kids swim team in the pool, but i new i was early, so i wasnt too worried about it. anyway, so this guy (kind of cute, actually) who was not a lifeguard approaches me and is like, are you here for the public swim, and i was like no im here for masters. and he was like oh, it doesnt start till eight. in other words, i was over an hour early. so i was pretty irritated with myself and embarassed, especially once kind of cute guy introduced himself to me as my masters coach. way to make a first impression, chloé. anyway, so i said see you in an hour, and now im here in the library. im going to make the photocopies i was going to make AFTER swimming, now that i have all of this extra time, and depending on how long that takes, i might try to get some more research done for one of my many projects. anyway, so that was my WONDERFUL day. i cant wait till next week when all of this is over.

Homeless

well, i have started the preliminaries of looking for a new apartment, and i have acquired a new topic to rant about. what is the deal with not being able to find a place that allows pets. ive only found one online listing that allows dogs, and only a handful that allows cats. i dont understand what people have against animals. my mum said that people dont allow pets because pets are destructive, but i feel that anyone who has this opinion has never had a pet of their own. also, i would say that argument is ridiculous, because you have to put down a security deposit when you sign the lease, and if the landlord feels there is damage from your destructive pet, then he or she can just keep it. i also find it confusing because if you consider the proportion of the population of single people with dogs, and compare it to the number of apartments that allow dogs, you have to wonder where these dog people are living. im hoping to become one of them myself, and i dont see why i should have to buy a HOUSE in order to have a DOG. ridiculous.

Snow Day?

well well well. school is closed today, because the city is covered in ice. i myself nearly fell to my death trying to descend the fire escape stairs, only to discover my bicycle is also covered in ice. so, what am i going to do with this marvellous opportunity? i havent quite decided. im especially pised about this whole thing, because i was supposed to start my advanced yoga class today, as well as my new master's swimming programme, but what can you do. anyway, i think i shall go to the art store and buy a new canvas, and maybe paint for a while. i also have to drop off my pay sheet to the special needs office. before all of that, im going to watch some seinfeld, and somewhere along the line, i hope to start working on my interim paper thing for my group project. i wonder if the libraries are also closed? ah well, if its closed, its closed, ill just stay here. anyway, who knows? sometimes days like this have a way of taking fabulous turns. maybe this will be one of them.

Redemption

so, after a long silence, and a lot of rumours, BATMAN BEGINS came out. it had been rumoured for years that a new batman movie was being made, and i heard rumours that it was either going to be a prequel, or a batman versus superman venture. given that the prequel rumours were more prevalent, and that i cannot concieve of a way to make a versus superhero movie of any sort without enraging fans of some, if not all sorts, i was not surprised to learn that the movie ended up being a prequel. there is not enough space on my blog allowance for me to say everything i have to say about this movie. in fact, i marvel at my own attempt to even address it. so, ill try to keep it short without getting into too much detail. i believe that batman begins is the batman movie written specifically for the batman fans. they did nothing wrong with this movie. it was all there.. the darksome, the angst, the human side of batman (he doesnt have super powers people! hes just smart! and rich! everything isnt all grace and perfection!) the story was engaging, the big names that were in the supporting cast were wonderful, but didnt upstage batman. and christian bale... well... forget about it. on a more personal note, i saw batman begins seven times in theatres... three of those times i was by myself. the first time i saw it, my heart was pounding the whole time. it was so exciting, i couldnt believe it. and then when they through out the "the next movie will be about the joker" bit, i thought i was going to die. good work christopher nolan. you have done right by batman, and his fans. you have redeemed batman on film after so many of us had given up hope. heres to many more!

Batman And Robin

so, after batman forever did good but not great, and succeeding in convincing parents and children everywhere that batman was not too frightening for those under thirteen, the powers that be ventured to make this disgusting flop. the very first moment of the film indicates how low the whole franchise had sunk. instead of the first credit being that of the director, or at the very least, that of the actor playing batman, it is arnold schwartzenegger, who plays the villain, mr freeze. from that moment on, it is one debauchery after another. the mr freeze character is full of silly puns and adam westian humour, the first fight scene with batman and robin versus the goons is also akin to adam west batman antics. the poison ivy villain, played by uma thurman is thoroughly useless, and the introduction of batgirl is awful. not to mention, she is written in as alfred's niece, instead of commissioner gordon's daughter, since the character of commissioner gordon had sunk so low at this point, that you arent even aware of his existence. george clooney was only MARGINALLY better as batman than val kimer was, and there was this whole, bruce wayne having a girlfriend who was pressuring him to get married but he couldnt because he isnt willing to tell women about his whole batman issue, which had absolutely NOTHING to do with the plot (except for reestablishing for the audience that batman was having impure thoughts about poison ivy) and went nowhere. by the end of my recent reviewing of this movie, i almost couldnt finish it because i was dying from the embarassment. i was embarassed for the actors, for the writers, and for myself for sitting through it while i was home alone. this movie is the reason this batman series died. end of story. if you have any doubts about my opinion, watch it, but do yourself a favour and dont.

The Beginning Of The End

so, poor tim burton. he was involved in batman forever as the executive producer, and joel shumacher came in to direct. they had to replace michael keaton with val kimer, a controversial and daring move. i have a feeling michael keaton took one look at the script and said NO, but i dont actually know the reasons why they changed the casting. im sure a little research could enlighten all of us, but whatever. anyway, the new script and the the new plan was in place, and thus begins my review of batman forever.
batman forever is an abhorrent film, and doubly so for what it has done to the batman mythology. the only thing redeeming the film is jim carrey, who nailed the character of the riddler like no body's business. unfortunately, since he was already cast as the riddler in this flop, i doubt they will be able to recast him as such again if the christopher nolan series lasts long enough to entertain the use of the riddler. anyway, they decided to use big names in an effort to draw audiences to an otherwise ridiculous film. in an effort to make the movie more child friendly, they tried to make things more colourful "like a comic book" . this tactic was used very successfully in dick tracey, and it has its merits, except it is the darksome that is central to the batman mythology. anyway, the plot is thin, and not really what is at issue here. val kimer was a lousy batman. physically, he is an inappropriate choice. he is too thin, too blonde, and too blue eyed. the same argument holds i suppose for michael keaton, but keaton was able to hold it together because of his presence and what he brought to the role. he was quiet and calm, mysterious and serious, and was able to instill fear and respect. val kimer ACTED quiet and calm and mysterious and serious, but he just didnt have what it took. he didnt have the presence or the power that michael keaton did, the audience just cant buy the batman that kimer was selling.
next point: the gratuitous ass shots in the idiotic filler of watching batman getting dressed. this makes a mockery of the whole batman story. it was just an attempt to make the movie more fun. dont get me wrong, i love fun movies, but fun movies are actually supposed to be fun, and this movie was trying to be a fun version of a serious movie, which are two things you cannot reconcile together. they attempted to make adam west like jokes and fun with the piece, while simultaneously pursuing the serious and angst ridden tale of batman. you cannot do both. you are either satirizing a piece or you are not. you cant satirize something at times and not at others. there is a reason the michael keaton batman movie doesnt have scenes of the adam west batman movie spliced into it. the two films are setting out to accomplish two different things. and batman forever accomplishes neither. instead, it left a fluffy, incongruous batman tale that was supposed to be kid friendly but was just idiotic. introducing robin into the story didnt help either, it took away from the seriousness. the sets and props werent believeable either. the whole thing was like watching a cartoon. actually, scratch that, for many cartoons and for all good cartoons, you can suspend your disbelief enough to believe what is going on. in this movie, you cannot.

Prelude To A Review

alright. alright. alright. since courtland bought me the box set of the batman movie anthology, i have been steadily working my way through all of them. as most people living in north america are aware, the last two batman movies of this strain, batman forever and batman and robin, were terrible. i feel it is time for me to do some long over due movie reviews of these cinematic embarassments, but first of all, i feel that it is necessary to provide the readers with some background information. much of this information is going to be steeped in the opinions of a lifetime batman fanatic, but let me say that all of the things i am trying to present as fact i cannot source. i read them in things like the paper or magazines and such during the production, promotion, and release times of these movies, and that was quite a while ago. anyway, after i provide you with this information, i will then move to post my reviews seperately, in the spirit of being organized, and to save you, dear reader, from a ridiculously long post.
so, here we go. in the beginning, there was tim burton. and tim burton was with batman, and batman was with him. ok, so thats not exactly how this story goes. in the beginning, there was tim burton, who was the appropriate choice for directing the original batman movie (or perhaps making the movie was his own idea and he pitched it to warner brothers, i dont rightly know), since he was and still is the hollywood poster child for eccentric and darksome directing. this is the kind of director who would bring the right kind of creativity to the set of batman. he was able to capture the dark and serious nature of the batman mythology, while still maintaining a surreal, yet believable, comic book feel. tim burton knew what he was doing, and i doubt there is a batman fan around who was disappointed with his work. that said, the movie was also exceedingly well cast. i have heard people say that they cannot and even do not want to envision the joker as anyone other than jack nicholson. (i myself am not of that opinion. jack is the man but the joker is too, and there are endless tantalizing possibilities for actors to bring something new and different to the part). anyway, so the original batman movie was well recieved. what do we do when movies about comic books are well recieved? we make another! of course! there isnt a fan alive who has a problem with that. but, we, as fans, do worry that the next movie wont be as good as the first. not to worry, batman returns was even darker than the first. i remember i was eight when the movie came out, and i was too terrified to watch it on video. the penguin biting the nose thing. as an adult, i can say that tim burton didnt let anyone down with batman returns. relatively true to the mythology, consistent with the first movie, and just the right amount of that tim burton flavah that made the first movie everyones favourite. BUT here is where the trouble begins. i wasnt the only eight year old who was in love with batman but squirming and covering my eyes and not being able to watch the movie in its entirety. no, dear readers, the very thing that made batman returns as great as it is was also the undoing of tim burtons beautiful monopoly on the batman movie niche. it was too scary. children were running, hiding, crying. they were afraid of the movie, and they were afraid of their hero, batman. (not this child, by the way. it was the PENGUIN i was afraid of.. and im willing to bet christopher walken freaked me out. but i never lost faith in batman dont you worry). anyway, upon the final crunching of numbers after the release of batman returns, the bigwigs up in hollywood realised that they had taken a serious demographic hit and lost a huge chunk of their child audience. not to mention mum and dad who would be taking jimmy and all his little batman wannabe buddies to the matinée. so, the bigwigs said "tim burton! your movie was too scary! we cant have you directing like this! not only that, we want you to make a NEW batman movie that gets these children back! make it more kid friendly! no scary stuff! use mcdonalds to help you promote it! children love mcdonalds, and we love money!"
now, here is where i start speculating. i would like to think that tim burton said something like, "hollywood bigwigs, i realise that we have lost our child demographic because my movie is too scary. and i realise that has cost you some money. but the batman books arent intended for children, so i never tailored my movies to children. and there is a group of real batman fans, people who read the books and know the mythology, who were very happy with my movie"
and then hollywood bigwigs said something like "we dont care! that group of obsessive freaks can go rot. its children who make movie money. not only in the box office but the toys! the products! now, get out of here and go make a kid friendly movie. why not try something like adam west did? kids love his batman show"
and then i would liek to think tim burton said "but adam west's show is explicitly a satire. kids like it, but most of them dont get that. you want me to make a movie satirizing batman that follows from batman returns? thats idiotic"
and then tehy said "no of course not. we just mean use teh same kind of fun TONE for the movie. now, off with you."
and tim burton sighed, and shook his head, and realised he would have to get another director to do this movie, and thus the wheels were in motion for the complete and utter degradation of what was shaping up to be one of the greatest series of comic book movies ever made.

Blast From The Past

since this year i have been reusing old notebooks instead of buying new ones, i occaisionally happen upon old notes that i once passed to friends, old drawings i was proud of, and in some cases, old bits of writing that i forgot about. this very thing happened today. as i was looking for an appropriate place to begin my notes for histology, i found a poem i wrote. im not sure when i wrote it, but based on the fact that this was originally my second year ecology book, im going to guess it was written sometime in second year. anyway, since i have no idea what i was thinking about at the time, i no longer find this poem too personal to share. the only thing i remember about writing it was that one of the phrases occured to me and i wrote the poem subsequently around it. this is often how my poems are born. and the only reason i remember this little fact is because the phrase is written at the top of the page before the rest of the poem alongside a doodle of an elephant face. so without further ado, here it is:
Build this House (NOTE: this title was created today. the poem is not titled in my book)
watching the sun setting over the cold dead ground
the emptiness is filling and though the sun is bright its warmth doesnt seem to reach this place
this place inside of me thats full of unreceptive cold
but i know that in the darkness theres a love that tries to give
tries to seep in and make me warm
so why dont we sit here
while they build this house around us
and soon there will be shelter from the storm
and if we let love touch us, the darkness will dissipate into prisms of light
and we'll have this house
and we'll call it home

Candace Bergen Wears The Pants

well, upon my return to steeltown, owen has provided the house with the complete (bootlegged) first season of boston legal. my uncle and aunt have been raving about this show since it started but also told me i should watch it from the beginning. so, behold, behold, i now have to opportunity to do so. and i have. the show is excellent, and i look forward to watching the other seasons i have missed, but that is not nearly the point of this post. what i really want to talk about is the candace bergen character. candace bergen plays one of the senior partners in the show named shirley schmidt, and she is one of the most fabulous female characters i have seen on television in recent memory. she is by far the best lawyer on the show, she wears pants most of the time but still dresses stylishly, quite different from all of the younger lawyer sluts on teh show. she is powerful and potent. strongwilled and feminine. she is in complete control of every situation and she is strong enough to deal with any and all unwelcome sexual comments or advances in a powerful and no nonsense manner. yes, schmidt is a character that doesnt screw around, and this is one character that girls can look up to. go boston legal.

Muse

i sit and paint my self portrait
and listen to ani difranco paint my self portrait with her words
and i wonder how she can speak the words written in my head
and i realise though were different
were all the same
its the muse that makes us that way
it is heartsick
it is pain
it is love
and it is shame
and there are so many muses that colour the paintings we make
and there are so many people who are really the same
and there will always be a person
with a name
and a face
there will always be a muse
to take the blame
for all of the writings and paintings and songs that we sing

Friday Night

i am walking from the bus stop to the liquor store in the sketchbag part of town, cursing myself for being in this predicament, since i am dressed to the nines, tits and legs on proud display, possibly attracting unwanted attention. not to mention i am wearing shoes that have never fit me very well and my feet already hurt. experience tells me i have time for a cigarette on this walk, and especially this time, considering how slowly i am walking. my hairdo has already come undone and i havent even been to the party yet. sighing, i realise i am going to have to take a cab from the store to the party. after exiting the liquor store, heavy bag ready to be used as a weapon if necessary, i hobble to the nearest payphone to call a cab. while i wait, i end up having to redo my hair twice, finally getting it to stay put. i hope it looks nice. later people will tell me it does, but since i have no mirror at the moment, i can only hope. the cab arrives and the cabby is chatty, much better than the cabby i will tolerate several hours later on the way home. the party is lots of fun, although i am at least 15 years younger than everyone there, i am at least wearing the sexiest outfit. full of red wine and high spirits, i leave for niks show. the band comes on very late and i fall asleep several times waiting for them. in a fit of bad social skills i beeline to the door after, stopping only to use niks phone to call yet another cab. after a hellish ride with the aforementioned lousy cabby, i trundle up to bed, navigating my way across the sea of laundry and garbage on my bedroom floor. necklace gets put away, dress hung up on the scratching post, and at last, i rest.

When Days Are Hot, When Days Are Cool

so, here i am in kitchener, visiting my aunt and uncle. in order to keep up with my swimming over the holidays, i got my coach to write down a couple of workouts for me to do. anyway, i was pretty excited about having the opportunity to come here and swim at the waterloo swimplex. when i was a kid and we would come visit here, we used to go to the swimplex. since i have always been a keen swimmer, i relished the chance to go to the swimplex. in my mind, the swimplex was the greatest swimming facility ever built. it seemed so cavernous and huge, with its two level high dive, double regular diving boards, whirlpool, full size waterslide, mushroom, and fountain in the shallow end. i thought my cousins were so lucky to have such a beautiful pool at their disposal, and i looked forward to swimming there more than any other aspect of my visits. so, when i decided that that is where i would be swimming this week, i was pretty excited to come back to my most favourite pool. turns out though, that ten years is a long time for growing up, and the pool isnt as amazing as it seemed so long ago. yes, it is still a fantastic facility, but there are little things about it that make me realise it was my childs perspective that made the place seem so surreal. for starters, being bigger than i once was, the pool is not nearly as gigantic as i remembered. the lockers are the same system as they were ten years ago, wherein you put a quarter in and you have to keep track of your key for the rest of the day and then when you unlock it you get your quarter back. this kind of technology impressed and mystified me as a child, but now, its cumbersome and irritating to have to keep track of a key. when the shallow lanes are open, the deep end lanes are only 20m long instead of 25, which means i lost 20m off each 100 while i was working out. i was able to readjust my lengths for some of the drills to compensate for this, but it made doing 50s and 75s impossible. also, since its only 20m, the number of turns is increased and the amount of time doing a length is decreased, which is dizzying. other than that, i still had fun and it was still a nice pool, but it has gone from being my childhood wet dream (hahaha pardon the pun) to just another pool. i wonder how many other things i am going to find disappointing when compared to my childhood ideals. i guess this is the lousy side of growing up.