Friday, October 01, 2010

I May Be Jerry Seinfeld

hello comrades! i hope you are all hopelessly happy this fine friday. myself, i am average, which is what this post is all about. for those of you who may not remember, or for you weirdos who didnt watch or like seinfeld, there is an episode of seinfeld called "the opposite" where george decides that the reason his life is in the crapper is because he has terrible instincts, so he should just always do the opposite of what he would normally do. this ends up being an amazing strategy, because by the end of the episode, he has a date with a beautiful woman and a job at the new york yankees. on the flip side, as george's life seems to take an amazing and unprecedented upswing, elaine's life, generally viewed as successful in terms men and career, takes a nose dive. in the mean time, jerry hypothesizes that he is the total middle ground between the two of them. no matter what happens, he always comes out even. why i am telling you all of this, is i think that this week, anyway, i may be turning into jerry.
i have had such a strange week. i seem to have had an equal number of pleasant and unpleasant experiences, which feels like i have struck some nebulous karmic balance upon whose scales i am dancing with trepidation. the end result of this is that i dont really feel particularly good or bad about anything at the moment, which is an odd sensation for me, because i usually have strong feelings about SOMETHING or at the very least, a general impression of my day and week. so heres the bullet points of what im talking about:
-> monday i found five dollars in my wallet that i thought i lost (good)
-> tuesday was piss-pouring rain and i had to go all the way to stoney creek (a one hour bike ride) and i had to be there by 930 am. (bad) the ticket wicket at the bus station doesnt open until nine, so i went to the convenience store in the station and asked if the guy could break a five for me (the five i found on monday) he said that he would charge me three dollars to change a five at which point i swore and stomped off (bad).
->as i was rooting for my five to take my bike to another convenience store that would sell me bus tickets, a complete stranger who had overheard my maddening conversation with the convenience store guy just gave me a bus ticket.
-> as i was fishing around for the five to pay her for the ticket, she refused and walked away, which was actually good because i lost the five (bad).
-> wednesday, anne and i had to wait for FOUR buses before one had room for us, and then to top it off, the bus we did get on had an ex client of mine and her mother on it who i cant stand for a single second, which is why i quit the contract (bad)
-> but the fourth bus that did let us on stopped between stops because i flagged her down, which she isnt obligated to do (good)
-> barb was supposed to come over on wednesday for a beer but she cancelled (bad)
-> i went over to her place last night instead, which was fun, except she is stressed about a lot of things, which is why i went in the first place (good and bad).
-> finally, today, i seem to have misplaced a pack of cigarettes (bad), im hoping i left it at barbs, but then when i got out of the shower this morning, i discovered the mail had arrived and in it was a cheque for a hundred dollars from the provincial government (good). this was doubly impressive because i dont usually get any tax returns at all because my federal student loan has a lien on my taxes. i guess this one fell through the cracks. or maybe its because its a provincial tax credit. i dont know.
anyway, so there it is folks. my breaking even week. not sure what to make of it, but im hoping this trend keeps up through the weekend, because i have some obligations that im not looking forward to. peace out.


Callie said...

that is really absurd. it sucks that you sort of inadvertently paid for the bus ticket anyway. maybe you helped someone else's bad week get better by leaving your five on the ground right when they needed it.

Callie said...

also, i am now wondering who i am this week. probably kramer, since my job doesn't exist but i somehow buy things.