Monday, April 13, 2009

The Same or Different?

well my good and noble comrades, i have a dirty little secret. i am hopelessly, shamelessly hooked on paris hilton's new bbf (which stands for british best friend, in case you didnt know). i dont know how and i dont know why. it is truly an awful show but its got this hold on me. i think i just marvel at the sheer stupidity of it and i wonder how people can be so unabashedly shallow and lame. i think i also wonder if we are really expected to believe as viewers that paris hilton is actually interested in ever spending any time with the winner. its so obviously just a shrewd business venture. anyway, that being said, what this post is really about is comparing paris hiltons show with two other, similar shows. on the surface all three shows are basically the same, but believe it or not i think that the paris hilton show actually has the most integrity.
so, first off. paris hiltons new bbf. this show is the follow up to paris hiltons first show, my new bff, which took place in the states. i guess ms hilton needs to have a best friend on every continent or something, because she is apparently taking applications in england. anyway, the premise of this show is the same as the bachelor, except instead of a moderately attractive man who will pretend to want to marry you at the end of the show, the winner gets a super attractive paris hilton who will pretend to want to be your nearest and dearest. the contestants get eliminated each week based on how they hold up in challenges (you know, super challenging activities like cooking dinner for paris, or flirting with one of her friends, or planning a photo shoot for her) and just generally how paris is feeling about the contestants at the time. (which is really code for paris making sure that the most dramatic ratings grabbers stay on the show as long as possible). anyway, the show features lots of catty bitchy girl behaviour and lots of paris talking about how much its going to take for someone to be able to survive her oh so demanding lifestyle. as im sure you can imagine, having billions of dollars and no real job to go to can be very taxing. im breaking out in a sweat just thinking about it. anyway, the show is bad, the contestants are morons, and amazingly, paris actually comes across as looking like the most normal, well adjusted one of them. and despite all this, i am shamefully hooked.

next up we have a shot of love with tila tequila. apparently this is the second season of this show and is only a time slot away from being porn. like the paris hilton series, this show has a bachelor style set up except this time we have boys and girls vying for the affections of the one and only tila tequila because she is (pretending to be) bisexual. anyway this show is just an excuse for a bunch of slutty people to act slutty on television and apparently tila tequila's claim to fame is sluttiness, so shes in good company. ive only seen about a half an episode of this show and it was the oh so scandalous second episode. you see, miss tequila didnt tell the boys in the first episode that she was "bi" and that they would be competing against boys and girls for her titties. i mean love. anyway at the end of the first episode she brought out the girls so the second episode was the first coed one and featured charming challenges like everyone in bathing suits searching through a pool of foam at the same time for some little round things that would earn them one on one time with tila. the interesting thing about this show is it really makes no excuses for pandering to the horny fantasies of men with too much time on their hands. its also fascinating (and kind of sad) to see all of these uber hot but totally for real lesbians lowering themselves like this. from what i saw, all of the girls just want a girl to win this show, and they will probably get what they want because a boy won last season and everyone is hoping to see tila dyke it up for the cameras. anyway what i dont get about it is many many lesbians (and straight girls too) would find a show like this disempowering to women and gay women in particular. what is so strange is that most of the lesbians on the show seem to be the type of girls who would have this opinion, but theyre on the show anyway. its as if their collective desire to show up the men supercedes the inherent sexism present in the competition itself, so they have put that to one side in order to win, win win.

finally, we have the rock of love bus with bret michaels. bad grammar aside, this show is also like the bachelor, except instead of having everyone live in a giant house so they can fight all the time, they are on a tour bus because bret michaels is some washed up rock star (who knew?) and he wants to simulate "life on the road" with the ladies. anyway this show is as bad, if not worse than tila tequila. i think that having gigantic fake tits was part of the requirements of the show, and from what i saw after sitting through an hour of this drivel last night, the contestants basically do one challenge (last night it was hanging out with children at a pool. i guess bret cares about having maternally inclined hoes), one of them wins, goes on a date with bret, and then the rest of the show we watch everyone get drunk and make out with bret. it was soft porn wrapped in a nice reality tv bubble and it was awful. i was disgusted with the whole thing and i was EMBARASSED for the girls on the show.
SO. you be the judge. are all of these shows the same ? or are they different? or maybe both???? i dont rightly know

1 comment:

callie said...

i don't care if they're the same or different. they sound ultimately sucky and i can't believe they even exist.