hello comrades. i hope you are all doing well. im sorry i havent written in a few days, ive had a couple of ideas, but as usual, i forget what they are as soon as i sit down to blog. i really must get in the habit of writing these things down when they occur to me. i also need to get in the habit of writing down amusing things to tell barb, because i have the same problem when i talk to her. im always like, "barb! i was going to tell you this funny story and now i completely forget what it was!" its so frustrating. i think its the intellectual equivalent of blue balls.
anyway, thats not really what i was going to write about just now, though. what i have to say today is that this whole "going to the gym and cross training" thing that ive been doing for the first time in my life has had some RATHER hilarious side effects. what you may ask? ill tell you. i have noticed, in general, that people at the gym are so in their own heads, that they completely forget that they are in public, and thats when the fun starts. i have three specific examples of people who i have noticed at the gym that really crack me up.
1) the middle aged, mostly overweight women. i hate to make generalisations, but i have noticed there is a pattern among these pudgy, peri-menopausal ladies. they tend to come to the gym in groups, and they are obviously trying to lose weight, as opposed to, i dont know, doing weights or working on cardio or cross training or whatever the various reasons people go to the gym are. this is all well and good, i realise the majority of people who go to the gym are trying to lose weight, (except for people like myself, who train actual sports, and weightlifters. although those guys are training an actual sport too, so its the same, really), but these middle aged women are hilarious. they spend about an hour at the gym, going from machine to machine, slowly, ever slowly, talking the whole time, and only workout on each machine for five minutes, TOPS. in total, i would estimate that out of an hour of being in the conditioning room, they only get about 17 minutes of exercise, and almost NONE of it is cardio. its like watching the news on any american station, its all commercials. is it any wonder these women get discouraged about their weight and end up dropping their gym memberships? as my sensei used to say when i was in karate, if you arent sweating, you arent working hard enough.
2) last week, i saw a rather obese man wearing what i can only describe as a weird al wig, sitting on a weight machine READING A MAGAZINE and not actually using the machine. was he trying to lose weight by osmosis? does his wife have him in the throes of some sex ultimatum, where he doesnt get any if he doesnt spend x number of hours at the gym each day? i guess well never know.
3) and my new favourite, last nite i saw a young girl, probably a few years younger than me, but over 17 id say, standing on the non-moving side sections of the treadmill. she had the treadmill actually running, but she was just standing with her legs on either side of it, and was watching television on the provided screen. when her show was over, she left.
so there you go, gym antics that i didnt know existed, because until recently, i only ever swam. amazing.